Life's A Playlist
by CrashAgainstMySkin
Summary: Full Summary Inside
1. Sally's Song

Life's A Playlist

A/N: Okay so this wasn't supposed to be the first chapter, but it was Halloween weekend and I just had to write this because it was all I could think about. So the explanation about this story will probably be in the next chapter, so wait. And if you could guess right away what movie this is from before you read, then you seriously deserve a hug and you're awesome, so yeah

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><p><span>Sally's Song<span>

Halloween, the one day kids are allowed to eat all the candy they can consume. When you're older however, the candy stops and you go to every party there is.

For about two weeks, all I have heard about is this huge costume party Paige is throwing. She sends out invites and I am one of the unlucky ones...I receive an invite.

The minute it landed on my desk during homeroom, I quickly shoved it in my messenger bag, making sure it got crumpled in the process.

Halloween was tonight and I grumble as Marco just shakes his head disapprovingly after asking if I was going to attend. I know he wants me to go by the countless times he's pleaded but I refuse. There was no way in hell, I, Ellie Nash was going to a party. Especially one that Paige was throwing. She had invited everyone I did my best to avoid. Sure she invited people I cared about, like Marco, Jimmy, Alex, and dare I say his name...Craig.

After the last bell rings, I make my way home on foot. I WAS alone but was that was until I heard the oh so familiar sounds of someone's footsteps behind me. I hear my name being called by the one voice that makes my knees grow weak. I turn around and that smile I try so desperately hard to hide makes it way across my face. Craig finally reaches me and gives me a pleasant smile 'hello'. He asks to escort me home and I agree.

Of course after five minutes of walking he asks the one question I was hoping he wouldn't ask. I don't hold back my groan as Craig asks if I got an invitation to Paige's Halloween party. I look up at him with a disgusted look and he just gives me his infamous condescending smirk. You know that smirk, the one that makes all the girls fan themselves...including me.

He drapes his arm over me and pulls me in closer. I feel the hotness in my cheeks as I smell that aroma that haunts me every night.

It's the please that gets me to agree to go. Once were at my doorstep he looks down at me and promises we'll have fun. A deep shade of red swells up again in my cheeks and increases as he laughs. He pulls me into a hug and I shiver as I feel his breath against my neck. He turns to leave and I watch as he descends towards his house. I walk into my apartment and I start to feel my eyes become teary.

_I sense there's something in the wind_

_That feels like tragedies at hand_

After making a makeshift costume out of clothes in my closet, I go as a vampire. I ignore the comments that are said behind my back as I enter the house decorated for tonight's festivities.

I find Alex and Paige by the refreshment table and they compliment my attire. I thank them though I know it was said out of politeness and not sincerity. As they continue their conversation, I look around for Craig.

I spot him across the room talking with Marco and Jimmy. I chuckle to myself as I notice Craig is wearing a Jack Sparrow like costume. I see him break away from the conversation and look up at me. I feel my heart rate increase just slightly as he smiles and waves me over. I look away nervously as I make my way towards the trio.

_And though I'd like to stand by him_

_Can't shake this feeling that I have_

We stand around for a little while just joking around. I stand close by Craig as we socialize in our small group. Everything was going so good and I finally started feeling more at ease.

I felt Craig position his arm around me and I snuggled in closer. I gaze up to find his beautiful hazel eyes looking down at me. I smile shyly and I hope that this isn't a dream. As I open my mouth to speak, Craig's attention is somewhere else. I turn around to see what has is interest, when my smile quickly falters.

_The worst is just around the bend_

I watch as Craig is dragged away by Manny. She leads him to the dance floor where I painfully observe the two sway rhythmically to the music. I turn back around and head to the bathroom. I stop at the door and stare back long enough to see Manny inch closer to him. I open the door in one swift motion. I turn the lock and rest my head against the frame. It doesn't take long before the tears stream down my face. I sink down to the floor as I realize my heart is breaking.

_And does he notice_

_My feelings for him_

I sit in the bathroom and cry for what seems like an hour. I can hear Marco outside asking where I am. I pick myself up from the floor and look in the mirror. My vivacious loose curls now seem lifeless and my makeup is smeared. After reapplying my eyeliner and fixing my hair, I head back out into the crowd of people.

I soon find Marco and tell him I stepped out for a minute. I know that he doesn't believe me but he let it go for now, which I was grateful for. The party had grown bigger and somehow I managed to find a place to sit. I looked around to see if I could spot Craig. I didn't see him or Manny, and the pain I felt before sneaks back in.

_And will he see_

_How much he means to me_

Call me a masochist but I couldn't help but wonder where they ran off too. I slumped back into the chair as I saw everyone's smiling faces. Not two hours ago was I one of them. It became clear at that moment that the state of bliss I felt such a short time ago, was merely a fantasy. Craig wasn't protesting at all when Manny pulled him away. His arm that was comfortably wrapped around my shoulders left effortlessly when she appeared.

_I think it's not to be_

A stray tear slips out of my eye and I quickly brush it away. I turn my head toward the window hoping nobody sees me this weak. I feel someone sit down next me and I find myself hoping its Craig. I turn around and see it's only Alex. I give her a feeble smile and recognize that she is tipsy. I roll my eyes as she offers me a drink. I know I shouldn't take it but I just want to drown my sorrows.

I sip casually on the small drink I made for myself. While doing this, I asked myself a series of questions. What if gets back together with Manny? Will our friendship suffer because I can't let go of my feelings? Will it be awkward when we hang out alone? Would I be tempted, or will I revert back to old ways? Will he forget about me?

_What will become of my dear friend?_

_Where will his actions lead us then?_

As I sit and ponder these thoughts, Marco makes his way up to me. Pouting he asks why I am not having fun. I look at him knowing he knows why. He gestures to the party and tells me to just forget it. He tells me to just enjoy myself and that he really isn't worth it. I smile genuinely. His heart is in the right place and I appreciate him comforting me, but it's just not that simple.

_Although I'd like to join the crowd_

_In their enthusiastic cloud_

Marco pulls me to my feet as he dances to the upbeat music. My heart isn't in it at first, but soon the alcohol took over. My emotions fled from me. All I felt was the vibrations of the music. I moved my body steadily to the tune but all the while I kept my eyes searching. I was searching for the one person I should be running from...not too.

_Try as I may_

_It doesn't last_

And in the midst off all the people and gyrating bodies, my emotions caught up to me. I can't do this. I shake my head and draw my hand away as Marco tries to pull me back. I scream 'I'm sorry', over the blaring sound. I push my way out of the hot and overcrowded household. There are people outside of the entrance, so I make my way around to the side of the two story house.

I sit down on the cold grass. I let the petals trace my bare skin as I take a deep breath. I try to calm myself. Why? Why am I feeling this way? He is only my friend. My best friend. The one person I can talk to about my family issues. The only one who I actually feel understands...the one I love.

_And will we ever_

_End up together_

Acceptance as they say is the last step. I finally accepted the fact that I am in love with Craig Manning. The only problem is...he doesn't feel the same way. I cry softly at this realization. I am in love with a boy who doesn't love me back.

_No I think not_

_It's never to become_

I pull my legs in closer to my chest as the loud noise muffles my sounds. I shook my head faintly, hoping and praying no one will find me. I wish for some great power to give me strength to get up and walk away. And just like magic I hear a distinct voice...and name.

I get up and peer around the corner. I see Craig and his tall lanky body facing away from me and into Manny's eyes. She is smiling and reaching out to hold his hand. I watch for the final time as she edges closer towards him. She is leaning in for a kiss and that's when I turn away. That is the final point. My moment to run home and forget what had transpired this entire evening. To shut out the world from reality. The reality in which I am not his and he is not mine. The reality I want to dreadfully avoid.

_For I am not the one_

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><p>AN: Okay so I think this might be the best I have ever written. Please read and review and if you didn't guess already this from 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. I do not own anything in the story nor do I own the movie or the song. Trust me Tim Burton is a genius and I would never take claim to anything he did. There is a part two, so stayed tuned and review! :)


	2. Simply Meant To Be

A/N: Again this not the original first chapter because the original chapter is not coming along the way I want it, so the full summary should be in the next chapter but until then this is the continuation of the last chapter. Takes place right where it left off.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING

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><p><span>Simply Meant To Be<span>

It's the end of Halloween night and this entire evening has been a disaster. Everything had been going great and now I'm under the October night sky looking into the brown eye's of someone I wish was wasn't here.

"Craig, I've been thinking a lot about us. I miss what we used to have."

"What we had?"

"Yeah, don't you miss it?"

I don't answer, just grimace at thought of sophomore year. Why would I miss it? It was a horrible time for me and I still feel like I'm being punished for it.

Manny just waits for an answer and when I don't provide one, she steps closer towards me and places her hand on my arm. I know I should remove it but instead I let it stay. She had a rough start this year and if putting her hand on my arm makes her feel better than what harm could it do.

"You have been so good to me since school started. You threatened that slime Peter for me...and we were having so much fun tonight," she states seriously. The affection in her eyes is visible and suddenly the warmth brown color of her eyes changes to a green filled with love. The emerald shade seems to stand out brightly in the evening sky and I find myself smiling tenderly at the sight. It's only until Manny squeezes my arm that the color fades and my smile disappears.

"We have history together, Manny. I was just being a friend," I'm trying to explain to her that what we were doing meant nothing. Everything that happened between us tonight was nothing more than me trying to be nice.

"It seemed more than friendly to me," she says flirtatiously batting her eyelashes. I hold back my groan of annoyance. "You know while we were dancing I tried to kiss you Craig."

I knew she was and that's why I pulled away. I made some lame attempt to distract her like I did back on our first date. It obviously didn't work because here she was yet again trying to turn this into something it's not.

"I know," I mutter.

She looks taken aback at first but quickly shakes it off. She smiles carelessly to herself as she ponders what to say or do next. I look at her skeptically trying to decipher her next move, when she grabs my hand and laces are fingers together.

I glance down at our entwined hands and feel uncomfortable. I swallow hard as look back up at her. Manny's eyes are shut as she inches towards me again. I try to act quickly before she makes contact with me, but I'm saved as she stops short when we hear a rustling sound coming from the side of the house.

"What was that," I ask out loud searching for any sign of the person or thing that just rescued me from yet another incoming kiss from Manuela Santos. Manny just shrugs and looks back at me.

"Don't know, but uh where were we..."

Her eyes slowly close as she leans in. I pause and shut my eyes with such force I start to see stars. I hold still while I hear her shift closer to me. I imagine an image of pure beauty that I forget why I was so apprehensive in the first place.

Ellie's figure stands before me in her regular black boots and grunge attire. Her smile is so genuine and lovely that I'm overcome with such affection I don't realize that my body is edging in towards her. She giggles as she steps closer to me. Our lips are about to meet when she parts her lips ever so gracefully.

"Craig...," she whispers quietly by my ear, and as I am about to turn my head and catch her lips, the voice registers in my head. It's not Ellie's typical cynical tone laced with tenderness, but Manny's seductive accent echoing in my ears. My eyes fly open at the sudden realization and without any thought I quickly dodge out of the way and watch as Manny stumbles over and kisses the air. She promptly turns her exasperated gaze to me and without needing to say words, asks for a response.

I open and close my mouth so rapidly I must look like a fish out of water. She waits for an answer but instead of giving her one I run back into the house filled with loud drunk teenagers. Somehow the haze of the crowd calms me and I'm able to gather my bearings. I look around to see if Manny followed me inside and breathe a sigh of relief when I don't see her around.

I continue to wander around the home looking for anyone I know. I feel the need to talk about what just happened and sort out my uncontrollable thoughts. I don't normally like to share my feelings unless in group or when I'm alone with Ellie, so I would like to take advantage of this sentiment.

My first impulse is to find Ellie. I know I can share any detail with her and she'll give me an answer whether I like it or not. She'll always tell me the truth and that's what I love most about her, but right now talking to her about my buried feelings towards her would be awkward, and I've had my fair share of awkwardness tonight. While searching for anyone I actually recognize, I spot Marco by the stairs and automatically run to him.

"Dude I need to speak to you like right now," I scream over the loud music pumping through the floors. He turns to me smiling but after seeing my expression looks concerned.

"You alright man," He asks with genuine worry.

"Can we please talk," I beg not entirely sure if I'm alright or not. He nods his head and gestures for me to trail him upstairs where I'm assuming it's much quieter.

He opens a door I can only guess leads to Paige's bedroom and when we enter, the noise level has plummeted to a dull muffled blare. I release some of the tension in my shoulders and take in my surroundings. The room definitely belongs to Paige. Scattered across the area are numerous pictures of Paige and her friends and her spirit squad uniform. The walls are white with a matching carpet and the only color comes from her dark purple bedspread and the posters of her favorite bands lining the wall. After some time Marco breaks the silence.

"Paige won't mind us using her room, so what's up? You have me worried, is something wrong," he's rambling now and I have to stop him before he loses it.

"Don't worry Marco nothing major happened. I'm fine; I'm just confused about everything. I just need to talk to somebody," I confess.

"Okay so talk," he encourages, as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. I follow suit and try to figure out where to start.

"Okay so tonight was going really well, ya know? I was having a great time with you and Jimmy and of course with Ellie." I singled her name out and I know Marco caught it. He smiles playfully when I mention her name but doesn't voice his thoughts, so I continue. "Then Manny pulled me to dance and then it all went to hell. She kept trying to make a move on me but I didn't want her too. I didn't think dancing with her would make her think I wanted nothing more than a platonic relationship, but I was wrong of course, I mean-". I stop when Marco holds up his hand. I stare at him waiting for him to speak and when he doesn't, I motion for him to say something.

"Craig your rambling and I know what Manny did. We all saw you dance with her and for the record it didn't look that platonic, especially to some." I look at him quizzically and when he notices my face he shrugs it off resuming his train of thought. "What we don't know is what happened after you guys left. Did something go on between you two...did you kiss her," he asks suspiciously.

"No! Marco haven't you been listening, I don't like Manny like that. We had a short fling and that's it," I yell. He just looks at me trying to decide if I'm lying or not. "Not that she didn't try, and more than once might I add," I explain, exhaustion laced with every word. "I pulled away each time but when I thought she was Ellie, I almost did kiss her," I say unaware that I was speaking aloud.

"Whoa! Back up, you thought she was Ellie?"

"What? I didn't say that Marco...you're hearing things," I hesitate amazed at how I let that slip out. He looks at me with a knowing smirk and as much I try to seem indifferent, Marco doesn't buy it.

"You have feelings for Elle don't you," he asks evenly.

I force a laugh but when he gives me a somber look I know it's time to come clean. I close my eyes and picture the way Ellie looked tonight, with her black skirt, dark long sleeve blouse, and red curls cascading down her shoulders. The image gives me the courage to voice the feelings I've been hiding since the summer. "...yeah...I do," I sigh.

"I knew it," Marco yells enthusiastically clapping his hands together.

"Dude," I laugh at his childish outburst. He mumbles an apology and urges me to continue. "I don't know when it happened but one night I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I would blink and her smile would flash behind my eyelids, and then every time we hung out all I could think about was kissing her."

"But you didn't because of Ashley."

"Well yeah, but also because I didn't want to screw anything up."

"What do you mean?"

"Ellie means too much to me Marco. She's the only girl that accepts me for me and if I get with her... I'll just hurt her...I don't want to risk losing her," I say thoughtfully.

"This is probably the first time I've ever seen you concerned about something like this."

"Huh?"

"Craig...in all these years that I've known you, I've never seen you care this deeply about losing someone. Lets be honest, when it comes to girls your as dumb as it gets and last year, you wouldn't have cared about who you hurt, as long as it gave you what you wanted at the time being. But now, hearing what you just said, it shows how much you've grown."

"Thanks Marco, truly," I say sarcastically rolling my eyes. "Got anything else? I mean I need advice not a life lesson."

"My advice is to go tell Ellie how you feel."

"Enough with the jokes," I reply slightly irritated.

"I'm not joking. Get off your lazy ass and tell her everything you just told me," he states rather impatiently getting off the bed.

"WHAT!"

"Craig I know the last time you actually opened your heart it got crushed and I'm sorry for that, but don't hide it away from something good," he answers sympathetically.

"Ash did break my heart but did you not hear me before? Being with Elle will only cause her pain, see girlfriends one and two."

"It's different this time Craig. You've proven you can be faithful which is why your old relationships didn't last. And Ashley broke up with you for something Ellie accepts, which if you ask me is the reason why you fell out of love with Ashley, and the reason you've fallen in love with Ellie."

I turn away from the younger gentlemen not being to look at him anymore. I've never been good at figuring out my emotions and putting them into words, and Marco does it in five minutes. I'm still in shock at what he's suggesting and the more I think about it the crazier it sounds. "Marco, what makes you think it would work out between us if something were to happen," I ask out of legitimate curiosity.

"Because you don't want to lose her," He kindly says placing a hand on my shoulder. I look up at him and peer into his eyes. They show the same conviction as his words and without further consideration I stand up and hug him.

I pull away and take one last look around the room gaining the confidence I need. When I finally feel capable of walking out the door I ask, "Ok, so where is she?"

"Home I think, she left about an hour after you stepped outside with Manny."

I nod and prepare to leave when Marco tells me to go home and change first and as soon as the words leave his lips I'm well aware of my appearance. Telling Ellie how I feel while wearing a pirate costume isn't exactly my ideal image of how I want this evening to end. So after thanking Marco again, I head out of the house and make my way towards the red convertible Joey lent me this evening.

I park the car in a weird angle and run up my front steps. I throw open the door and make a dash to my room wear I change at an alarmingly fast rate. Once I'm dressed significantly well in a plain green tee and faded jeans, I grab my leather jacket and head back out towards the car. No one's home so I'm assuming it's a reasonable time.

Once I'm settled in the driver's seat I drive the 20 minutes it takes to get to Ellie's and try to come up with the words to say to her. It would be in my best interest to practice what I'm going to say rather than make the situation worse by being my self. By the time I pull up in front of her house I have everything planned out. When she opens the door I'm going to pull her in close and kiss her, and then everything will fall into place.

Having full assurance in myself and my actions I get out of the car and take two steps at a time to get to the burgundy front door. I ring the doorbell and position myself in striking pose. When I hear the door knob turn I open my mouth to speak but I'm side tracked by the presence of Ellie's mother. I automatically stand up straight and try to make myself seem like less of an idiot. She holds back a laugh as she stares at me.

"Is...Uh...Ellie home," I ask stammering.

She eyes me uneasily before reply, "yes she's home. You wait here and I'll go get her."

She closes the door lightly and I hear her shuffle up the steps to get to Ellie's room. I'm sure I've only been out here for a minute but it feels like hours. So far I'm not looking so good and my self-assurance has gone down a bit.

I shake everything off and remind myself to just stay calm. I tilt my head back and take in a deep breath letting the cool breeze hit my face. I bring my head back down and turn towards the door when I hear it creak open. A smile plays on my lips as Ellie stands in the doorway. She's wearing dark red pajama bottoms and her crimson hair is damp. Her make up is smudge from not taking it off thoroughly and the black long sleeve shirt she's wearing really brings out her petite frame. I'm suddenly at a loss for words.

"Craig? What are you doing here," She asks, her brows furrowed faintly.

"I need to tell you something," I reply sounding a little uncertain. Her expression changes subtlety and though she tries to clear it up her eyes can't mask the pain. Already I'm screwing this up, damn it!

"Ok...," she says inaudibly coming outside and closing the door behind her. She crosses her arms no doubt trying to protective herself. She moves in front of me and waits for me to continue.

"I...I-what I'm, Ellie..., " the words won't come out. The disappointment is etched across her face and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to do anything right. "UGH! Ellie everything that happened tonight was a complete disaster and it only keeps getting worse," I blurt out annoyed at my own idiocy.

"Excuse me," she asks irritably with a hard glare in my direction.

"Manny and I almost kissed tonight."

"So are you trying to tell me you guys got back together," she asks dismayed.

"No."

"Ok so what are you telling me Craig? Should I be worried about something?"

"I almost kissed her tonight because I thought she was you," I answer fully.

She backs away a little bit almost sure I'm playing a practical joke. Her arms fall limp at her sides and she looks wordless. I smile at the idea of Ellie Nash speechless, and when my words finally sink in she just asks, "...what..."

_My dearest friend, if you don't mind_

_I'd like to join you by your side_

"Ellie, you're all that I think about...you're the only one who knows me for me, and no matter how bad I've gotten you're always there. You've been with me through thick and thin, and accept me for everything I am and everything I'm not...I want to be with you," I conclude closing the small distance between us. I place my hands on her shoulders and squeeze gently.

_Where we can gaze into the stars_

She doesn't move as I take hold of her and as I get nearer, I see that her cheeks are flushed despite the temperature. She keeps her gaze locked on mine and when she doesn't respond, I move my hands away from her shoulders and rest them on her face and without hesitation I capture her lips with mine with such fervor it shocks us both. She eventually wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me in closer holding me tight.

After sometime I pull away a bit so that my lips are just hovering over hers. Ellie's eyes are still shut and she leans into me wanting more. I happily oblige by kissing her softly and after several seconds I pull away and her eyelids flutter open. She's smiling brightly and that's the only answer I need.

_And sit together_

_Now and forever_

"I've wanted to do that for awhile now," I chuckle looking into her shining green eyes. With my hands still on her face, I begin to stroke her cheeks delicately. Her smile is so wide that I fight the urge to kiss her again. She speaks before I have the chance to.

"Me too," She breathes unsteadily. "What took you so long?"

All I can do is laugh at her question because honestly, I haven't the slightest idea why I waited as long as I did, and frankly I don't care because it doesn't matter. I've finally opened up about my emotions and this whole situation just feels natural, as if Ellie and I were meant to take this next step.

"Don't know, but if it wasn't for Marco almost pushing me out the door I don't think I ever would have," I admit. She giggles and loosens her grasp on my hips, breaking our eye contact to glance down at my lips.

"Well, thank you Marco," She says amiably, meeting my eyes once again.

_For it is plain_

_As anyone can see_

I smile amorously at her as I remove my hands from her delicate features. She instinctively moves her arms around my neck as I grip my hands at her sides and draw her in close. She runs her fingers through my dark tresses as we enclose in on one another and meet once again in a slow passionate kiss.

_We're simply meant to be_

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><p>AN: So sorry if the characters seem OOC and rushed in some parts. Also please forgive me for all the dialogue I know it probably annoyed you. Anyway the song belongs to Tim Burton and Danny Elfman and as for the characters well they belong to all the people who own Degrassi.

Also I know I mentioned this on Tumblr but I seriously cannot get over the similarities between Jack/Sally and Craig/Ellie. It's uncanny the resemblances they share! Anyway please read and review :)


	3. The Last Time

A/N: So this long overdue but I couldn't help it. The last two chapters were just spur of the moment oneshots that took days to complete. This is the actual first chapter and if you haven't guessed by now, this story is just oneshots based off the only couple I write for, which is Craig and Ellie. I can't help it I'm in love with these two and they really get no appreciation anymore. So to show their love isn't dead this story will be short or long oneshots centered around them. The twist is each chapter will be based off a song I find fitting for them. Now this isn't the original song choice I had in mind because the first song just wasn't working out. This song is much more fitting anyway and I cried after listening to it because it described them perfectly. The song is 'The Last Time' by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody. My friend told me to listen to it and I'm so happy she did. It was the motivation I needed and thought it really depicted their relationship. So with that please read and review. I tried to get the timeline just right so if something seems out of place forgive me.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'The Last Time' by Taylor Swift nor do I own any of the characters mentioned in this chapter or any other chapter.

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><p><span>The Last Time<span>

The crisp spring air felt relaxing as Craig Manning walked a long the busy streets of Toronto. He was leaving for Smithdale in the morning for the Purple Dragon concert and while he was here, he decided to visit his hometown again. After everything that happened eight months ago though, he felt restless. Memories of recent history plagued him and he needed to get out, so with no conscious effort, Craig makes his way through the crowded city with his head down. Not knowing where he's headed, he tries to forget past events.

After about two hours of mindless wandering he stops short and notices the crack in the pavement. His cheeks become red as he swallows hard at the realization. Even after spending a short few days here months ago, he knows that he's standing in front of Ellie's apartment. Since his senior year he has found himself going to Ellie for everything, whether it be issues he's having or for just simple fun. It became a habit of his so it doesn't surprise him that he's made his way to her doorstep.

_Found myself at your door_

_Just like all those times before_

_I'm not sure how I got there_

_All roads they lead me here_

Craig looks up slowly and breathes a deep sigh not knowing what to expect. Scanning the two story residence, he locates Ellie's room on the far right corner on the second floor. Craig thinks back to when he and Ellie used sit on her bed writing new songs for Downtown Sasquatch after group therapy every week. They both used to strum various chords, making music out of nothing, and writing about whatever came to them.

It was in those moments that the world outside them didn't exist. There were no drunk or dead mothers, no absent fathers, or broken hearts. It was just them in their natural element, Craig with his ability to transform any emotion into a chord progression, and Ellie with her talent to create such meaningful words with one simple feeling. It was during those times when their eyes would meet that they saw one another for which they truly were, damaged souls looking for some way out. That through all the ups and downs there was a silver lining. But that was when they were kids, and although it doesn't seem like it, everything was simpler. Now standing before the brownstone, Craig has no choice but to face reality.

_I imagine you are home  
>In your room all alone<br>And you open your eyes into mine  
>and everything feels better<em>

He gradually makes his way up her front steps, regretting ever coming over. He knows Ellie will never forgive him and it kills him inside. For years he's been able to read her like an open book, knowing everything she felt without needing to say a single word, so to remember her walking away in tears left him suffering. He knew better than anyone how fragile Ellie Nash was, that only certain pieces were still keeping her in tact. Her faith and love for him was just a small fragment but still a central part in keeping any and all hope in her shattered world. It was when she allowed the outside world to see her helplessness that he knew he crushed whatever was left of her.

He waits a couple of minutes before knocking, standing outside with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. Gaining some sort of confidence he lightly knocks on her apartment door, silently praying she isn't home and he can make a quick escape. He's out of luck when he hears the shuffling of footsteps and her soft voice echoing from inside.

"Who's there," Ellie Nash asks the visitor while coming down the steps. Her recently cut hair falls in front of her face as she descends down the steps. She tugs the belt on her light blue robe and opens the door halfway to reveal Craig stationed in her doorway.

Her mouth falls open faintly at the sight of him and as much as she tries not to, her lips curve upward into a small smile. He looks a little better than before but still shows signs of recovery. Peering into his hazel eyes she sees the light she once knew. With her right hand on the door and her left on the frame she holds herself up. Her thought process is in complete chaos as it usually is in the presence of Craig Manning.

_Right before your eyes_

_I'm breaking, no past_

_No reasons why_

_Just you and me_

Standing in front of him with a messy new haircut and a robe just above her knees Craig is stunned by her simple beauty. He notices her jaw make a subtle movement before smiling ever so slightly and he can't help but let out a tiny laugh. It was those little actions that abandoned his regret and without even thinking he states, "I love your hair like that."

His words knock Ellie out of her reverie as the voice registers in her mind. The last time she heard that voice it had manipulated her in the cruelest way possible. Feeling defensive she folds her arms over her chest and glares hard at him. Determined to hold control over the conversation she asks crossly, "What are you doing here Craig?"

Taken aback by her harsh response he fumbles with his words. When she opened the door she seemed happy to see him and now it was the complete opposite. The regret washes over him in an instant as Craig involuntary rubs the back of his neck lowering his head. "I don't know," he answers truthfully if not somewhat confused.

"You don't know," She repeats with an eye roll.

Craig doesn't know what to say. He knows she's angry and hurt which he wholly understands, hell he expects it, but still he's at a loss for words. An overdue apology seems the best way to start. "Elle..."

"No!" She stops him before he has the chance to say more. He looks up in that moment, sensing the importance of her next words. "You lost the privilege to call me 'Elle' a long time ago. Don't think because you were gone for eight months that I suddenly forgave you," She tries to mask the distress in her voice but it's no use. Craig can see in her eyes how much pain he caused her.

"Didn't you get the letter I sent you," he asks half-heartedly.

"I didn't bother to read it," she replies stiffly. The truth was she couldn't read it. He had so much power over her and, any simple words from him would have her emotions be pulled in several different directions. And while deep down she would always desire his affections, she couldn't forget what he did to her.

_This is the last time I'm asking you this_

_Put my name at the top of your list_

_This last time I'm asking you why_

_You break my heart in the blink of an eye_

"I'm so sorry," he answers in extreme seriousness. He wants to say more but can't seem to get the words out. He reaches for her hoping she'll understand what he's trying to say without speaking, but she pulls away.

Tears build up as she tries to remain strong, but Ellie can feel her resolve grow weaker with each passing moment. "It's not that simple Craig. An apology won't work, not this time," she pauses and a single tear falls. Her voice is raw as she continues, "You used me and the feelings I had towards you for your own selfish need. Do you know how much that hurt?"

_You find yourself at my door_

_Just like all those times before_

_You wear your best apology_

_But I was there to watch you leave_

Ellie looks at him feebly as more tears wordlessly fall from her shining green eyes. Craig still hasn't spoken and Ellie can't look in his direction anymore. She's frustrated at his inability to never say anything at all. Willing the tears to stop, she tries once again to get a reaction. He needs to know how much harm he did this time.

"Craig I was so happy when you came back into town. I missed you so much and thought about you everyday. You knew how strongly I felt about you, and you used it as a pawn or bargaining chip to get your coke back. You destroyed what was left of my trust and to top it off...you gave me something incredible and viciously took it away."

"Again, Ellie I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I put you through. I never intended that to happen, you have to believe me."

"How can I believe that Craig when it's been happening for so long," she asks honestly. Meeting his eyes she searches for an answer. Any inclination as to why she's been held so far away from his heart.

He racks his brain for a response. He knows exactly what he wants to say because he wrote it all in his letter to her. Every sentiment that he felt about his relationship with her was written in the two page letter. That he was scared and buried his feelings because he knew how toxic he was. He didn't want to ruin their friendship by starting a relationship back in senior year. That he felt like it would have been better to have her as friend then nothing at all. He wants to say he loves her and hasn't stopped for god knows how long. But he keeps quiet and only says, "You'll just have to trust me."

At those words, Ellie's eyes widen. Her aggravation grows as she yells, "Trust you! You want me to trust you? The last time I trusted you, you blew me off to do drugs Craig! I begged you to go to group and I waited and waited and you never showed." She flinches at the memory and what it tempted her do.

_And all the times I let you in_

_Just for you to go again_

_Disappear when you come back_

_Everything is better_

Craig is guilt ridden at her confession. His eyes show nothing but grief as he remembers her pulling at the rubber band on her wrist. Back then he was too high to care but now he wants to physically hurt himself for making her feel that way. He knew he could be a jackass but that was the lowest of lows.

Craig's face turns pale and wants to pass out but he has to ask the one thing on his mind right now, "Did you...did you do it?" He finds it impossible to say it but Ellie looks at him for confirmation. She's forcing him to say the words out loud. "Did...did you...cut...?"

Ellie doesn't say anything right away, just looks at Craig dejectedly but, after a short minute she unfolds her arms and lifts up the sleeve on her robe. There's faded scar marks etched across her upper arm. "It was the day before you left for Calgary."

Itching for the soft white powder, Craig stands paralyzed. Never does he actually feel the need to cry nor does he ever let himself but he can feel his own tears rise. He forces them down as well as the bile as he tries to not break down. He promised himself a long time ago, when she had first opened up about why she cut herself and how she was feeling, that he would never cause her that much misery and here she was telling him that he had done just exactly that.

Ellie watches as her revealing takes a toll on Craig's conscious. She cries softly at his expression of guilt and self hatred. As much as she's angry with him, she knows how worthless he must feel. It's something she's had to overcome and struggle with everyday. Ellie will always care deeply about him and watching him suffer is something she will not stand for, whether he deserves it or not. She pulls down her sleeve and pulls him into an embrace. Craig immediately wraps his arms tightly around her torso, burying his head in the crook of her neck. Both are aware of his shaking body as Craig silently sobs into her shoulder.

_And right before your eyes_

_I'm aching, run fast_

_Nowhere to hide_

_Just you and me_

He can't help it but as soon as her arms are around him, he breaks. He knows now how she felt all those years before, and wishes to find a way to escape. She starts to pull away and he composes himself. Her eyes are red-rimmed but the tears have stopped and she looks at him sympathetically. Craig lowers his head; he can't find the strength to look her in the eyes. She however won't allow it.

"Hey," She softly calls to him forcing his eyes to meet hers. He looks up with the sweetest sadness, and for the first time since seeing him at her doorstep she feels like she finally has the upper hand. "It wasn't because of you that I cut. I blamed myself for everything that happened. I felt helpless and foolish for believing all the lies that you fed me. I should have known better, so don't go putting the weight on your shoulders. Don't feel guilty about my actions, feel guilty about yours."

"Ellie you wouldn't have done it at all if I wasn't such a fucking asshole," he answers still feeling horrible.

"See now, that's just false logic because you've always been an asshole," Ellie replies with a small smirk and a tinge of laughter in her voice. She's trying to lessen the tension brought upon them. It seems to work because the strain in Craig's shoulders relaxes and his lips twitch upward.

"You got me there," he states and a chuckle escapes him. Both their eyes soften and they stay in silence. "I'm really sorry Ellie, I wasn't myself and I wasn't thinking clearly...I never _ever_ meant to hurt you the way I did. I really don't think I can say it enough," Craig says after a moment or two later, all the emotions he's feeling pouring out with each word.

Ellie stands there torn in his gaze. She wants to forgive him like all the other times before, but she can't, at least not yet. He caused so much friction in their already fragile relationship that even his sincerest apology couldn't mend it. He wants a reply and she gives him the only one she can, "I believe you."

_This is the last time asking you this_

_Put my name at the top of your list_

_This is the last time I'm asking you why_

_You break my heart in the blink of an eye_

Craig lets out a breath. If he wanted anything to come out of this conversation, it was that she knew and recognized the fact that he was truly sorry. Everyday and every night he thought about her and how much she hated him. At least now when he would think of her, he would know that she knew he was sorry for everything he put her through.

He was silent after she spoke, his face calming at her words. As much as she wanted him to know she believed his sentiments, she also wanted him to know where she stands. "I don't forgive you though," she clarified. "I might not ever forgive you...and if I do, it isn't gonna happen for a long time Craig. Do you hear me? This isn't something I can brush off under the rug."

Nodding his head he replies, "I understand. I just want us to be okay again. I miss you Elle." She gives him a look at the use of her nickname. "Sorry, old habits die hard you know."

"Addicts would know," she replies coolly and gives him a half smile. As much as she hates to admit it, she missed him too. The entire time he was gone she would lie awake at night and think of him and how he was doing. Ellie hated herself when she did, but she couldn't help it. He was a big part of her life and someone who she loved deeply. After careful consideration she finally asked, "Do you want to come in?"

Craig is hesitant but accepts her offer as she opens the door wider and lets him in. She closes the door gently as he stands in the middle of the room. The apartment still looks the same minus a few new furnishings. He nods his head at his surroundings as he turns back to look at Ellie. He instantly notices her nervousness.

The second Ellie closes the door she immediately begins to feel anxious. Shuffling her feet from side to side, she brushes her hair behind her ears shakily. She watches as he takes in the small apartment she calls home. He turns around after a few seconds and chuckles at her demeanor. She can't help the flush of her cheeks as she involuntarily pulls down her sleeves needing to do something with her hands.

Eyeing the movement of her hands, Craig tries to ease Ellie's disquiet. "So, uh...where's Marco and Paige?"

"At work. Marco picked up a late shift at the club and Paige is practically glued to the fashion cult."

"Cool, glad to hear they're doing well."

"Craig cut the small talk," Ellie replies reasonably. "There should be no reason why this should be awkward. We said what we had to say and now we try to repair what we once had, plain and simple."

"Says the girl who can't stop moving her hands in discomfort," he answers back casually pointing out her consistent playing of her hands.

Upon hearing those words Ellie quickly begins to stop toying with her sleeves and places her hands behind her back. "Don't please yourself Craig, you don't have that effect on me anymore," she shoots back weakly. "Besides I'm just uncomfortable with you seeing me in my bath robe. I wasn't expecting a visitor."

Referring to her appearance, Craig can't help but check Ellie out again. Her hair is slightly disheveled and she doesn't have any makeup on. Her top half is covered in her light blue robe that is wrapped tightly closed and the fabric of her shorts can be subtlety seen when she makes minor movements, the complete opposite of his leather jacket and worn jeans and t-shirt. His eyes linger on her exposed legs before looking at her and replying, "I think you look beautiful."

"Craig don't...," Ellie trails off breaking his gaze and turning her head downward. Hearing him say those words was like opening a fresh wound. She still loved him and knew she probably always would, and hearing him say something like that would honestly crush her. She didn't want to put through the ringer again.

"Ellie were never gonna get past this if we continue to tip-toe around it and you know it," Craig states definitely.

Turning to face him she snaps back, "I'm not tip-toeing around anything! Are you really that dense Craig? Do you honestly think making comments like that won't open up old wounds?! You broke my heart!"

Craig squeezes his eyes shut and sighs in grief. Running his hand through his dark curls he tries to find the right words to say. Not wanting to say anything about his true feelings but not wanting her to think he doesn't care about her at all he calmly replies, "It's not what you think."

"Then what is it," she asks strongly placing her hands on her hips.

_This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong_

Trying to avoid the question, he shakes his head and answers, "If it weren't for you Ellie, I wouldn't have an album out in stores right now. You pushed me to go after my dream and for that, you're an extremely important person in my life." He wants to add that he loves her and wasn't lying when he said he meant it but doubts it'll do any good.

_This is the last time I say it's been you all along_

Ellie bites her lower lip and she tries to piece together what he's telling her. She can see from the look on his face how much this has been eating at him, and no matter what she's always going to hold a soft spot for him. It's what you do for the ones you love. So with that she softens her expression and tells Craig, "I'm not saying I forgive you but I want you to know I won't hold this over your head. You made a mistake and you owned up to it." She takes in a deep breathe and continues, "This is last time though."

_This is the last time I let you in my door_

Craig looks at her in disbelief. He doesn't know what to say but he knows he can't fuck up this time. He can tell by the conviction in her eyes, she's serious. If he screws up one more time, he's lost her forever. "Like I said you're too important to me."

_This is the last time I won't hurt you anymore_

He walks towards her and into pulls her into a hug. Ellie doesn't pull away but instead falls into his embrace. Overtime she knows she'll forgive him and hopefully they can grow closer. He's still recovering and knows he's a long way away from becoming his old self, but maybe with Ellie by his side again, he can turn his life around.

_This is the last time asking you_

_Last time I'm asking you_

_Last time I'm asking you this_

* * *

><p>AN: Okay so I feel like I need to explain this. Well as I stated before this story is just oneshots based off of different songs I see fitting to their story and relationship. So the idea behind this was that Craig went to Ellie to apologize for the whole coke incident. To me it just didn't make sense that in the movie everything seemed to be fine between these two. They never really addressed how they managed to get their friendship back and it's just not in Ellie's character to forgive and forget something like this. And Craig did some serious damage this time around and Ellie couldn't and wouldn't instantly forgive him. So obviously these two beautiful people talked sometime off-screen because they did keep in contact as stated in the movie, so this is my take on it and it was EXTREMELY difficult to try and work out how I thought it would go following the lyrics of the song, especially since it's not AU and I actually had to follow the timeline. It takes place during the spring break movie in season 7. He was in town and it just seemed like a perfect fit. I think this song was good fit for this little thing though this isn't the entire song; I cut it because it was a bunch of repetition at the end. As for my opinion I personally think they kept in constant contact, but of course haven't seen each other since. I think both knew keeping a distance between them was needed to mend their relationship and to get it back to how it was. You know phone calls and few letters back and forth. It seems like it would be the best way for Ellie to forgive him. And it fits with the movie background. Ellie says he looks good, which indicates she hasn't seen him since. Also I believe that Craig had a relapse during this time because it was not year after WIFLTBAG and he says he's been clean and sober for a year. I think Ellie knew about his relapse(s) hence the comment made. And no I don't think she would have been angry about that at all. She's an addict too and knows how hard it is and would have been there for him. If you ask me he's relapse probably has to do with his guilt over Ellie cutting because of what he did her.

Also that cutting issue needed to be addressed too because they showed in the episode how much it was affecting her and after the kiss and everything, I do think she relapsed. If you have a problem with it or my writing please let me know. I'd be happy to hear your comments on this. I'm sorry if it was rushed and some parts didn't add up, I'll say this now, I'm horrible at writing things I see in my head. I also assume if your reading Crellie fan fiction that you know their story and some things don't need explaining. I am actually pretty proud of this even though I've never written in this style before. I'm also sorry for this huge authors note, but its' long overdue and I needed to explain the reasoning of this oneshot. So I'm done, read and review if you want too. Also one more thing, I promise the next chapter will be fluffy, and I mean really fluffy. :)


	4. Never Stop

A/N: Okay so I promised fluff and I give you so much fluff it can be considered cotton candy. I won't go into a lot of background with this cause I don't want to give so much away but if you love Crellie as much as I do, you'll enjoy it I swear ;)

The song will be given at the end of the story because I don't want to give anything away. Don't cheat either and scroll to the bottom of the page. I'm on to you! Lol

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to this fan fiction. I am merely a victim of shipping fiction couples and getting involved with the ever painful storylines of Degrassi. And I have no rights to the song lyrics either.

* * *

><p><span>Never Stop<span>

**12 Months**

We're sprawled out on the bed, our bodies tangled up in the sheets. Ellie has her head on my exposed chest while I run my finger idly up and down her bare spine. She giggles unexpectedly and I can't help the wide smile that spreads across my face. I pull her tightly towards me and she buries her head further into my side.

"I can't believe it," she mumbles into the thin damp layers. "This honestly feels so surreal to me."

"Well believe it babe," I answer, the smile never fading. She releases herself out of my hold and maneuvers herself onto her elbows, crimson hair falling effortlessly in front of her face. She holds the blanket to her naked chest and peers at me with the brightest green eyes. My hand involuntary reaches out to touch her shoulder.

"This is really happening isn't it? This isn't some dream that my sixteen year old self conjured up," she states with the happiest smile I've ever seen grace her face. "I can't believe it!"

"You've said that already," I tease. She jokingly slaps my collarbone and without second thought I begin to tickle her ribcage. I push myself upward as Ellie falls onto her back squirming, trying to fight off my attack.

"Craig! Stop-Ah-Stop," she laughs beneath me. Her hair is spread out on the mattress as she turns her head back and forth. "I mean it! Seriously-," she screams humorously bringing her knees to her chest.

"You don't sound so serious to me," I joke as she wriggles underneath me. Her laughter continues as she tries to push me off of her, and failing miserably. "Just give up Elle, you're never gonna win," I shout over her protests of amusement.

Ellie stops trying to block my hands and scrunches her face in defeat. Her red hair looks like a wild messy curtain covering her expression as she faces away from me. I stop tickling her and lean down on my elbow. She shakes the hair out of her eyes and looks at me with nothing but affection. Pushing a stray lock behind her ear, I tilt my head down slightly and capture her soft lips with mine.

She smiles into the kiss as I gently put my hand behind her head and bring her closer to me. She places her hand on my chest and kisses back with equal pleasure. After about a few seconds she pulls away and briefly looks at her hand before meeting my hazel eyes again. "I love you Craig," she affectionately says before resting her head in the crook of my neck.

"I love you too Ellie," I reply with the same conviction, entwining our hands together and kissing her ring finger.

_This is my love song to you_

_Let every woman know I'm yours_

_So you can fall asleep each night babe_

_And know I'm dreaming of you more_

**10 Months**

"Why are we even discussing this," Ellie asks sarcastically while setting the dishes on the small kitchen table.

"Be-cause," I draw out the word. "I don't think it's fair," I answer simply, draining out the water in the pasta. I hear Ellie scoff behind me and I turn my attention towards her. She has her left hand leaning against the wooden chair and her right hand is placed defiantly on her hip. Her eyebrows are raised and I just shrug my shoulders at her.

I turn back to my task at hand and add the marinara sauce to the bowl of penne. Next to me, Ellie grabs the plate of chicken and with so gives me a harden look. I smile playfully back and as a reply, she turns and gives me her backside. "You wanted my input," I utter as I bring the last of our dinner over to the table.

"Yes, but not that input!"

I laugh at her childish out-burst and take my seat across from her. Her long red mane is casing the side of her face as she takes a piece of baked chicken. I scoop some of the pasta onto my plate before we switch dishes. "So tell me again why I can't invite Manny," I ask after a brief moment of silence.

She looks up from cutting her meat and twitches her head to the side, looking at me as if I'm clueless. "She's your ex-girlfriend Craig."

"Sooo...two of your ex's will be there."

"Ashley's gonna be there!"

"It's still not proportionate," I point out while continuing to stare at her. Ellie's shoulders slump and she looks at me in surprise. "What, it's true. You're gonna tell me that you've never dated Marco? Or Sean?"

"First off, I was Marco's beard so technically we were not dating. And lastly Sean is only coming because he's Emma guest, which reminds me, who invited her again."

Damn, she's got me there. I ignore her last statement and pick up some of the pasta on my fork while Ellie gives a triumphant shake of her head.

"Emma's a close friend of the family so of course she's invited," I state with a mouthful of food, determined to win this one. "Also it doesn't change the fact that I have to be in the same room with two men that you've kissed."

"You kissed Marco too," she shoots back quirking her eyebrow, a smirk clearly plastered on her face. "I clearly remember a song on your album titled 'Kissing In The Stairwell'".

"I did _not _kiss Marco," I hastily reply with a grin, pointing my fork for emphasis. She laughs to herself and continues to eat her dinner. "That's beside the point anyhow."

"Uh-huh," she replies, and though I can't see her face I know she's smiling. Glancing up quickly she asks, "Why is this an issue?"

"It's not an issue, I'm happy they're going to be there." Her eyes meet mine as she silently tells me to continue. "They get to see how much I love you."

Ellie's facial expression softens and she smiles sweetly. She places her silverware down and gets up to come and sit on my lap. She touches my chin gently and kisses me tenderly before pulling away. "I love you...and I guess I can see where you're coming from."

"So..."

"You can invite Manny, if you really want too." I nod my head in approval, and as I lean in to kiss her she stops me by saying, "That being said if Manny's invited I'm entitled to invite Jesse, you know to make it proportionate," She states mocking me from before.

She's eyeing me skillfully and we both know she's won. Rolling my head to the side and groaning my annoyance at the use of _his_ name I repeat her words from before, "Why are we discussing this again?"

She laughs lightly and gives me a quick peck on the lips before responding, "I thought you'd see it my way." With that she gets off my legs and walks back to her seat.

_You're always hoping that we make it_

_You always want to keep my gaze_

_But you're the only one I see love_

_And that's the one thing that won't change_

**8 Months**

Sitting on a white couch in a quaint bakery I watch as Ellie examines each small piece of cake, pondering which one would look nicer with the theme. Her eyes are curious and she bites her lip in consideration. I smile at the sight a little turned on but, enjoying the little quirks that make Ellie, Ellie. She does a double-take with her head in my direction and then her attention is fully on me.

"What are looking at," she asks calmly her face still thinking over the baked goods.

"You," I answer seductively, my mind in the vicinities of our bedroom. She can obviously tell where my concentration had gone because before I know it her green eyes go wide and she smacks my arm lightly.

"Perv," she scolds but soon laughs. I lift an eyebrow up and give her a smirk to which she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Pay attention to the assortment of sweets before you and help. We need to narrow it down to at least 3 different flavors," she exclaims gesturing to the pieces of cake.

"I like paying attention to you better," I counter sweetly. She smiles coyly and looks down and then back up. "Besides it's a cake just get a chocolate one and were good."

"And that's why I should've brought Marco; at least _he_ would be useful," she responds turning away and staring at a certain piece with a layer of strawberries in the middle. "What about this one? We can ask for chocolate instead of vanilla and it'll be like chocolate covered strawberries."

I scoot closer over on the couch and look at the small plastic plates of cakes. A red velvet wedge sticks out to me. "I like this one," I say picking it up.

Ellie glances at the serving in my hand. She gives it a once over and asks, "I'm not sure, how do you think it tastes?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself," I answer taking off a small chunk and when she opens her mouth to protest I stop her with small piece of cake. Making an 'Oh' face at her Ellie glares in my direction, wiping away a few crumbs. "How was it?"

"Not funny Manning," she retorts trying to hide her grin, while I smile and lick my fingers. "I like it though, but it's missing something."

"Wh-," I'm interrupted when a fraction of red velvet cake is forced into my mouth. "Touché."

Ellie gives a tiny bow before breaking out into a fit of giggles. I join in her laughter when the manager comes over. "So have you two made a decision," the woman asks politely.

"Yes we have," Ellie laughs. "We would like the Red Velvet."

"Ok and what layer would you like for the middle," she questions writing down the order.

"No layer," I interject. "And could you replace the cream cheese frosting with butter cream instead?"

She nods her head and continues to write, "Will that be all?"

"Yes, thank you," Ellie responds shaking the woman's hand. I do the same and gather our things to leave when Ellie tells me, "Thank you."

"Thank you for what?"

"For making an effort, I know that this isn't important to you."

"Are you kidding me Elle, of course this is important to me. I mean it's a small detail that I don't think needs all that much attention but it's still important," I reply placing both of my hands on hers, looking into her eyes kindly.

"So why so assertive with the small confections?"

"I wanted it to be simple.'Simpler is better' remember". She smiles at the memory. "And I don't like cream cheese frosting. Good on bagels not on cake."

Ellie laughs and toys my calloused fingers with her hers. "Why the red velvet though?"

"It reminded me of the woman I love," I respond lovingly. She tucks her head down than, hiding her smile. "Come here," I say tugging her arm and pulling her to me gently, capturing her lips with mine. I taste the sweetness of the cake again and love every second of it.

_I will never stop trying_

_I will never stop watching as you leave_

_I will never stop losing my breath_

_Every time I see you looking back at me_

**7 Months**

I'm lying flat on my back in bed watching T.V when Ellie steps out of the bathroom. She's in jeans with a dark blouse and her hair is semi-straight with the front ends framing her face. She's struggling to put on her shoes when she looks up and sees me looking at her.

"Are you really gonna stay in bed all day," she asks brows furrowed with a small smirk.

Stretching my arms up I simply reply, "Maybe. Is that a problem?"

Rolling her eyes she joins me on the double bed. She snuggles close to my side and kisses my cheek. I wrap my arms around her and hold her there, my head falling against the top of hers. We stay like that for a couple of minutes, enjoying the presence of one another. It took us awhile to get this place in our relationship so, when we have the chance we like to embrace these little moments. I hear a small breath come from Ellie's mouth and know she's content. She doesn't want to move and neither do I.

"Craig I have to go," she says reading my thoughts. It never ceases to amaze me how she knows me so well. I shake my head in objection and I can feel her warm laugh through my shirt.

"Just stay in bed with me," I protest kindly. My hold on her grows tighter as she starts to pull away and I grunt my displeasure as the heat of her body is no longer beside mine. "Ellieee," I whine when she's off the bed and fixing her bag on the vanity alongside the television.

Brushing her hair behind her ears she tells me, "I need to go. I told Marco and Paige I would meet them at the boutique. They both insist this is _the_ place I'll find my dress."

Ellie peeks up from filling her purse and catches my pout in the mirror. She turns to look at me directly and gives me a half-smile. Coming over to my side of the bed she bends down and takes hold of my lips with hers. "I'll be back in a couple of hours and when I come home you better not be where I left you," she advises.

My fingers linger on her waist as she walks away and picks up her handbag. She waves goodbye and my eyes follow her until she's out of my sight. When I hear the front door close I get up from my place and head into my personal studio. I can't think of a better time to write about my love for Ellie than right now.

_I will never stop holding your hand_

_I will never stop opening your door_

_I will never stop choosing you babe_

_I will never get used to you_

**5 Months**

"AHHHHH," Ellie screams as the front door slams behind her. I drop my pen and run out into our living room where I see Ellie throw her purse on the couch seething with anger.

"Ellie," I ask evenly. She jumps at my words and looks in my direction, some of the irritation alleviating when she meets my eyes.

"I didn't know you were home," she states upset.

"I got in a little while ago, what happened." My tone never falters and Ellie just shakes her head and waves me off like it's nothing. "Elle, c'mon what's going on?"

"Just a fight with Marco," she replies distressed. Whatever the argument was about it was definitely huge. Normally when her and Marco clash it leaves her aggravated but now she is downright furious judging by her body language.

"What about," I question and Ellie closes her eyes in frustration. I can easily tell she doesn't want to talk about it but I'm not letting her off the hook, not if it's affecting her like this.

"Not important," She responds trying to change the tone in her voice.

"Bull, now tell me what's up." She runs a hand through her hair and contemplates on whether or not to tell me, only increasing my unease. "Just tell me, I won't let up until you do."

Crossing her arms, she looks at me fleetingly before lowering her head and answering, "You."

Taken aback, I look toward her in confusion. Me? What could she have possibly fought Marco on that had to do with me? "Can you elaborate?"

"During lunch, Alex started joking about ditching, and the others joked that if anyone were to walk out it would be you. I know it was all in fun and I mean it was fine for a short time, but after awhile it got annoying. I told them to cut it out but they kept saying 'Ellie you know better than anyone how Craig is when it comes to relationships' and I told them that it's not like that anymore, and Marco defended them by saying that there was some truth to it." I continue to look at her, watching her grow more infuriated as she goes on. "So I confronted him about it and he finally tells me about his doubts. How he thinks at the first sign of trouble you're gonna run off scared."

"I thought Marco trusted me," I wonder aloud. Ellie looks disheartened and I'm sort of in shock. Marco and I had regained our close friendship when Ellie and I got together, so why was this coming up now? A part of me understands though, he's protective of Ellie and he's right, they all are. I've fucked up so much in the past, what's to say I won't do it again.

"I'm so pissed at him! This is not the time to bring this up and he knows you! He's sees that you're not the same anymore! Why hasn't he forgiven you already?"

"Elle, calm down," I say walking towards her and rubbing her arms up and down. "Marco's just looking out for you. Given our past, can you blame him?"

"Excuse me," she states astonished, surprised that I'm not just as mad as she is.

"Ellie, you and everybody else knows you can do better than me. Hell I'm surprised you even forgave me. I thank my lucky stars every night because of that."

"I just had to explain to Marco why you're capable of doing this, don't tell me I have to convince you too," she says jokingly.

I smile and laugh quietly, even when I have no confidence in myself; Ellie manages to find the assurance for both of us, and while everyone is right about my past mistakes, they're wrong about one thing. "As long as I have you by my side, I'm not going anywhere. I love you Ellie."

She relaxes and from the look in her dark green eyes, I can see she's better than when she stormed in. "I'm still angry with him."

"I'll talk to him, it's more my battle than yours anyway," I reply caressing her cheek. Leaning in to my touch she pulls away with an alluring look in her eyes. Keeping my gaze she ambles backwards towards our bedroom. Bemused I ask, "What are you doing?"

"There was a fight and it was addressed," she implies simply cocking her head to the side biting her lip, a twinkle in her eye.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how make-up sex works," I say getting the hint.

"Are you really gonna question it," she quips a small smirk forming.

"Nope," I emphasize running towards her and sweeping her up off the floor, carrying her to our bedroom bridal style with her giggles filling up the hallway.

_And with this love song to you_

_It's not a momentary phase_

_You are my life I don't deserve you_

_But you love me just the same_

**3 Months**

"Ugh," I groan as the natural light fills up the bedroom and wakes me from my slumber. Turning over to avoid the brightness coming from the window, I feel Ellie's sleeping form next to me. I peer out through my half close eye-lids and see her knees curled up into a ball, hands safely hidden underneath her pillow. Unsurprisingly a smile appears on my face and I pull Ellie to my side, doing my best not to wake her up. Instinctively she burrows herself into my side as we lay cuddled together. Trying to fall back asleep, I shift my position to get comfortable.

"Stop moving," Ellie groggily demands, nestling closer.

Perking up slightly, I look down at the red-head. "What?"

"I'm trying to sleep."

"So am I," I state, sinking down lower on the mattress and leveling my face with Ellie's. Her eye-lids flutter open and she scowls at my constant motion. We lay on our sides facing one-another in peaceful silence, my hand snaking around to rub her back. "You're not really a morning person are you?"

"Not when my human pillow, keeps tossing and turning I'm not," She answers her expression relaxing upon my touch. A small laugh escapes past my lips.

"Glad, I can be of use to you," I say drawing her nearer and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Ellie repeats a little out of breath. "How'd you sleep?"

"Not bad, considering I slept next to a beautiful red-head," I reflect. Ellie tries to hide her blush, but it's futile. No matter how long Elle and I can be together, she still gets shy when I mention her beauty. I start threading my fingers through her hair, while Ellie fiddles with the fabric of my shirt.

"For once I don't have anything planned, why don't we have a lazy day," Ellie says breaking the silence.

"With a 'Saved by the Bell' marathon," I suggest.

Enthusiastically Ellie props herself up, a playful grin etched across her features. "I'll cook the bacon?"

"Meet you downstairs," I exclaim animatedly, both us bounding out of bed and racing for the door. "Hey," I call when she's about to exit the room. She turns in my direction, the smile from before still present. "I can't wait to grow old with you," I state fondly

"Me too," she replies warmly.

_And as the mirror say's were older_

_I will not look the other way_

_You are my life, my love, my only,_

_And that's the one thing that won't change_

**1 Month**

Finishing tying up my sneaker, I hop off the edge of the bed and make my way to the kitchen. In the hallway I smell the sugary scent of syrup and when I enter the room I see Ellie standing over the stove. She's in a tight white button up top that fits her body perfectly, with a black skirt and matching black boots. Her red hair is perfectly straight with the front ends framing her face. Just by looking at her doing such a simple act I can't help but notice how stunning she is. Damn how did I get so lucky?

She doesn't notice that I walk in, so I sneak up behind her, grab her waist, dip and kiss her. She squeals at the sudden motion but eventually kisses back with the same fervor. Pulling away I bring her back upright. "Something smells good," I say smoothly, not taking my eyes off her.

"Pancakes, though I did just get out of the shower," she answers with a smirk.

"I was talking about me," I reply with mock misunderstanding.

"Jerk, so what's with cheesy cliché entrance," she asks. I shrug and meet her smile leaning against the counter watching her finish cooking. "So are you going to the studio today or meeting with the label," Ellie inquires while licking away some batter from her thumb and fixing a plate.

"Studio, the heads of the label want to see what I have before they finalize my contract," I reply while taking the plate of pancakes and fresh fruit she hands me. "Thank you," I say placing a kiss on her cheek before making my way to the table. "What about you, what's on your agenda?"

"I have my fitting with the rest of the girls after work. Speaking of, I have to present my pitch to the editors today about my article on 'Mystic Spiral'," she responds joining me.

"Mystic Spiral," I chuckle. "I still can't believe they named their band that?"

"What can I say, they're fans of Daria and you know that's an awesome band name." I nod in agreement as I take a bite of my small stack of pancakes, listening while Ellie continues. "Anyway I'm nervous on how they're going to react. I mean if this goes well I could have my own column interviewing up and coming new artists."

"It'll go great Elle, I promise," I tell her trying to ease her nervousness. She smiles timidly and changes the subject instead asking me about last minute details we need to go over.

The rest of the breakfast is nothing but mindless chit-chatter and discussing plans. When we're finished, I take our plates and put them in the sink before leaving with Ellie. I hold her hand as I walk her towards her car and when she goes to unlock the door I stop her. It's unlike her to be anxious when it comes to her writing and she needs to know she's going to do well.

"Hey, you're going to rock that shit out of that pitch ok? It's not like you to be so worried. You're a great writer Elle and it's an amazing idea and even better article," I tell her confidently. The tension in Ellie's shoulders relaxes and she hugs me tightly. Breaking the hold she reaches up and kisses me slowly.

"Thanks, I'll call when it's over."

"Better yet, stop by the studio for lunch and tell me all about it."

She smiles and kisses me quickly before getting in her Honda. I shut the car door behind her and see her off before getting in my Porsche and heading off to work.

_I will never stop trying_

_I will never watching as you leave_

_I will never stop losing breath _

_Every time I see you looking back at me_

**1 Day**

Humming a new melody I created, I scramble the eggs I've been cooking. I'm usually not the one making breakfast in the morning due to the fact I'm not an exceptional cook but because I'm up at a relatively decent hour, I decided why the hell not. Nodding to the music in my head, I grab a plate being as quiet as possible. Ellie's still sleeping upstairs, and if you know anything about Ellie Nash, you would know waking her up on a day she has off is the equivalent to being castrated with no anesthetic. I hear a shuffling of footsteps and I see Ellie standing in the archway to our kitchen.

Smiling at the sight of her, I take in her appearance. Ellie's hair is all disheveled from just getting out of bed and the only item she's wearing is one of my t-shirts, which barely hovers above knees. Seeing her in my clothes fills me with a certain adoration I can quite explain. Every time I see her in an article of clothing of mine, whether it is a hoodie or shirt, I love her even more.

"Coffee," she moans tiredly, eyes half shut taking a seat at the end of the table. I pull out a mug from the cupboard and pour her a cup. Leaving it black, like how she likes it, I place it gingerly in front of her. Grasping it like it's her lifeline, she takes a tentative sip. I give her my plate of eggs and prepare to make some more.

Cracking the eggs into a bowl I ask, "Did I wake you?"

She takes another sip before replying, "Sort of, someone was missing from bed and I couldn't fall back asleep," she states humorously. "What are you doing up so early anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep," I smile turning to look at her, thinking about the upcoming event. "Besides I'm scared about what the guys have planned tonight," I shudder just imagining what Spinner could have come up with.

"Marco and Jimmy should have it under control," she responds picking up some eggs with her fork. "In any case I've lectured them both, if any of you show up hung over tomorrow I'm allowed to commit justifiable murder," she says nonchalantly.

"Noted," I state. "Let it be known to you as well, that you will be in the presence of a minor. I will not let you corrupt my baby sister," I feign sternly. From the corner of my eye, I can see Ellie roll her eyes a grin on her face.

"She's sixteen, I'm pretty sure high school has already corrupted her, but I'll keep it PG-13," she promises, continuing to eat. Nodding to her guarantee, I finish making my plate and join Ellie at the table. She shifts her eyes from her food to me and wrinkles her brows.

"Why are you looking at me like that," I ask catching the change in her expression.

"You're not gonna kiss me good morning?"

"Why do I have to initiate the good morning kiss? I always kiss you good morning, how about you kiss me for once."

"It's an unspoken rule that whoever wakes up first is the one to give the good morning kiss, which if I recall is you Mr. Eggs Benedict," she refutes pointedly.

It's our usual childish argument, which I'm happy to oblige in. Sighing in defeat, I lean forward and give Ellie a not so subtle kiss. "Good Morning my lovely, what else can I serve you with?"

"Ass," she accuses grinning.

"Excellent idea," I joke. "How about right here in the kitchen."

"As enticing as that sounds," she teases, "I think I'll hold off until tomorrow night," she eludes, a seductive tinge in her voice.

"Oh," I rouse, liking where this headed. She glances away innocently but the flush in her cheeks gives away what she's really thinking. I clutch the leg of her chair and promptly pull Ellie closer to me. She yelps in enjoyment and with my hand on the back of her head I kiss her excitedly. Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

_I will never stop holding your hand_

_I will never stop opening your door_

_I will never stop choosing you babe_

_I will never get use to you_

**15 Minutes**

"Will you stop squirming already," Joey laughs, watching me watch my reflection in the mirror. I keep fixing my tux and shuffling my feet, anticipation and anxiety coursing through my body.

"Seriously dude, relax, there's nothing to be so worked up about," Marco supports walking over and patting my shoulder. Nodding vigorously I continue to stare at my mirror image, exhaling a deep breath when I can no longer stand.

Taking a seat I bend over and run my hands through my hair, feet tapping at their own accord. Trying to calm myself I shake off the restless feelings. "Gah, I can't! I'm so excited and at the same time nervous, I don't know what do!"

"Hey man, we know," Jimmy consoles gesturing to Joey. "It's like this for everyone. As long as you know you're making the right decision the edge will go away."

"I can honestly say I've never felt so sure about anything in my entire life," I chuckle knowing that what I'm about to do will undeniably fall under one of the best moments in my existence. It's hearing the words spoken aloud and the sureness behind them that clears any nerves that I might have.

"Then you're good! Trust me once you see her..." Marco trails off, a fairytale look in his eye, "You'll be blown away," he finishes smiling broadly.

Just then a knock comes from the door and Paige pops her head out, "It's time guys," she chimes. Jimmy gives an encouraging smile and Joey pats my shoulder sympathetically before shuffling after Paige. Marco's heading for the door but I grab his arm and pull him to the side.

"Craig, what is it," he asks looking around observing the room before meeting my eyes.

"You know I love her Marco, I wouldn't hurt her. I never meant to hurt her and I wouldn't even dream of doing it now," I tell him distinctly.

"Craig I know, we've talked about this already. I was wrong to judge you before, I know that now," he answers genuinely.

"I didn't want you to think that because I was nervous that I was gonna do something stupid," I admit worried that he might disapprove.

"I would have been more concerned if you weren't nervous," he laughs obviously certain of my feelings for his red-head best friend.

"So does this mean..." I trail off using my most charming of smiles.

The shorter gentleman places both his hands on my shoulders and stares straight into my hazel eyes, "You have my full and unaltered blessing." I pull him into hug to show my appreciation; having Marco on my side just makes things so much easier.

Joey walks in then, "Craig?" he points to the door signaling it's time to go. I smile at Marco and follow Joey out the door.

I stand on the L.A. sandy beach where Ellie and spent our day out two years ago. I breathe in the salt water air, smiling as the memories play through my head. Everyone's seated and waiting patiently when the music starts to play. I turn my attention down the aisle where Angie and Marco begin to march down the walkway. My little sister looks beautiful in her black bridesmaid dress and her hair half-up. Soon after them, Jimmy and Paige make their way down followed by Joey and Caitlin, who look so cozy together I think Joey might not be going back to the hotel alone.

I don't dwell on this to much because shortly the guest's rise and turn their attention to where I have my eyes glued. Ellie appears in a white heart-shaped mermaid style dress, a black ribbon tied at the waist that descends down to her train. Her red bangs are swept to the side and her scarlet hair is curled into waves that fall behind her shoulders with a few strands dropping in front, a simple white veil resting on the top of her head. She's marching down the aisle with her father clad in his army uniform, with a smile so wide her face must hurt.

I'm beaming as Ellie walks closer towards me looking even more radiant and gorgeous than she was mere seconds ago. Her emerald eyes are bright with elation and I know I can say thing about mine. My heart races even more the nearer she becomes. Finally reaching me she kisses her dad on the cheek and takes my hand that I hold out for her.

_You still get my heart racing_

_You still get my heart racing for you_

_You still get my heart racing_

_You still get my heart racing for you_

Handing her bouquet to Caitlin she takes both my hands in hers and takes a calm breath. Peering into my eyes Ellie smiles so delicately and my breath catches in my throat. I smile back and I must look like an idiot because Ellie lets out a giggle and I let out a small laugh too. She's so happy and it's because of me, of us.

"Friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness the matrimony between Craig Manning and Eleanor Nash. Where they wish to join themselves in the honorable bond of love," the minister states looking out to the crowd of guests. "Who gives this woman away?"

Both our eyes turn to Colonel Nash who stands beside his wife, his arm wrapped around her shoulders and holding her close. "Her mother and I," he says strongly a joyful sadness in his eyes. I nod my head in gratitude and look back at Ellie.

"Very well, we may proceed with the vows, if you will," he bows towards Ellie indicating she's to speak first.

"Craig, since the summer I got to know you, I knew you were everything that I wanted. You made me smile without saying a word, made me feel special just by looking at me, and just by saying my name you gave me goose bumps. And still to this day you still manage to do all of these things. You're the only person that can make me feel better without having to do anything, and the only one I know that can make me giggle like a school girl. No matter what happened between us in the past we still somehow found our way back to each other." She starts to choke up and tears brim her shining green eyes, pushing them down she continues, "You have made me happier each passing day that we've been together than in any other years prior. I love you Craig, and today is honestly just a dream come true, because I'm marrying you, my soul mate. The guy who all those years ago stole my heart and had me dreaming that one day I'd be his bride. I love you; and I will continue to love you with all my heart."

A tear slips out but she's smiling so brightly that it doesn't matter. I can't stop grinning and hell I don't even care because the Ellie Nash, the woman who has gotten me through my darkest times, is pledging her love for me in front of everyone. Joy doesn't even begin to describe my emotions right now.

The minister now directs his attention to me, and it's my turn to speak. Trying to catch my breath, I begin to speak. "Ellie, we've been through a lot, all of which were my doing. But throughout everything, you always seemed to find the grace to forgive and love me each and every time without falter, at least I would hope." The guest's chuckle and Ellie makes a face which makes me I laugh, and when she smiles I carry on. "If it wasn't for you believing in me and encouraging me to pursue my dreams, I wouldn't have the strength I do now. And while I could say it's because you pushed me to go after my future, it's not, because even if I hadn't left for Vancouver all those years ago, I still trust that we would be here today, promising to love one another always. Elle, you are my best friend, my inspiration, and the woman I love. I will never stop trying to be everything you ask for, because you deserve it. I love you Eleanor Nash, I always have and I always will."

_I will never stop trying_

_I will never stop watching as you leave_

_I will never stop losing my breath_

_Every time I see you looking back at me_

Tears are escaping both our eyes now, and I can't stop looking at Ellie, wanting to kiss her soft glossy lips. To have her finally be mine and have everyone witness it. The minister looks to both us before speaking again. "Craig Manning, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. To live together in the estate of matrimony, where you promise to be faithful and true to her, and to love her, honor her, comfort her, and cherish her in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," I answer lovingly, my hazel eyes never wavering from Ellie's glowing features.

"And do you, Eleanor Nash take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband. To live together in the estate of matrimony, where you promise to be faithful and true to him, to love him, honor him, comfort him, and cherish him in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," she repeats smiling so beautifully through her tears.

The minister looks between us before speaking up again, "And now for the exchanging of rings, Craig if you will." I twist my back to Joey who hands me the thin silver band before returning my gaze back to Ellie. "Craig, while placing the ring onto Eleanor's finger, please repeat after me; I Craig Manning..."

Sliding the ring on I reiterate, "I Craig Manning..."

"Take the Eleanor Nash, as my wedded wife..."

"Take the Eleanor Nash, as my wedded wife..."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse..."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse..."

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part," I conclude. Ellie smiles wider and I can feel her tremble under my touch.

"Miss Nash, if you will," he nods to Ellie. She twists to her side and receives a matching silver band from Caitlin before reverting back to me. "Eleanor, while placing the ring onto Craig's finger, please repeat after me; I Eleanor Nash..."

Slipping the ring on, she repeats, "I Eleanor Nash..."

"Take the Craig Manning, as my wedded husband..."

"Take the Craig Manning, as my wedded husband..."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse..."

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse..."

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part," she finishes still smiling, love written all over face. The minister is still speaking but my focus is solely on Ellie. In just a few moments we'll be declared to each other in the most intimate of ways.

"It is by my authority vested in me by the state of California, that I may pronounce you husband and wife. You may now your kiss bride," the minister closes. Without hesitation I grip Ellie by the waist and enfold my arms around her back. She wraps her arms around my neck and meets in me in an eager kiss. We're fervent as neither of us wants to pull away but slowly our lips separate, our heads leaning on each other. Moving her hands around to caress either side of my face she laughs softly at the realization. I join in her laughter as I stare helplessly into the green eyes that have gotten me through the roughest times of my life.

The applause starts to resonate between us, when we remember that we're not alone. Turning away from each other slowly we look at our guests standing and clapping for our union. Ellie takes back her bouquet of roses, lilies, and tulips and clasps my hand as we walk down the aisle hand in hand, as husband and wife.

...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Craig Manning!"

We enter the club we've reserved for our reception arm in arm, waving to everyone who's cheering for us. I haven't let go of Ellie since we left the beach and I don't plan on it anytime soon. She's finally my wife and I couldn't be more ecstatic.

"Everyone please join me in turning my attention towards the couple, while they prepare for their first dance together as husband and wife," the singer from the band we've hired bellows through the microphone. I trail my hand down Ellie's arm taking hold of her hand as I lead her to the dance floor. The band starts to play a memorable tune as I place my hand behind the small of Ellie's back and hold the other up as we begin to sway to the music.

"This place looks familiar, have we been here before," Ellie asks speaking softly looking around the average size club.

"Yeah, it's the place you came to see me play for the first time after running into you in L.A," I whisper my lips by her ear. She meets my eyes than, a light of amazement behind them.

"Craig," she breathes still overwhelmed by today's emotions. "This is perfect."

"I just wanted our wedding to be reminiscent of the way we found our way back to each other. We'll always L.A after all," I remind her, grinning as we continue to move to the melody.

"You're not going soft on me are you Manning," she challenges, a soft smile on her lips.

"Only if you say so, Manning," I counter tapping her forehead with mine.

_I will never stop holding your hand_

_I will never stop opening your door_

_I will never stop choosing you babe_

_I will never get use to you_

* * *

><p>AN: WOW! So holy shit this is long, but it doesn't matter because it's filled with such fluffy goodness! No joke, I fan-girled over my own story, can you believe that. I couldn't help it though just imaging them doing these things made me giddy. We deserve this ending, am I right! GAH I need a Crellie wedding special in the near future.

Anyway I was trying not to give away the fact they were getting married until the end but I'm pretty sure I made it obvious with the picking out a cake thing and possibly the guest list thing. I did put in some clues, to make it like a figure it out kind of thing but I probably failed at that. Whatevskies though because it got done and if you don't know already I love writing future-fics so expect more. The next one should be a good mix of everything but don't expect that anytime soon, I'm still emotionally drained from writing this. I'm also sorry with the wedding details, I suck with writing description but I googled a lot of that stuff, so I tried my best.

As for the song its 'Never Stop' by Safety Suit the wedding version because it's absolutely adorable and just the sweetest song I've ever heard. I don't own it nor do I own any of the pop culture references I made within this chapter.

Also as a side note, if any of you have read my other story Come Home Soon, do you think I should write a story like this (as in collected one-shots) about Julia and basically follow her life. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you do because its Crellie related and I could really use some feedback. So I'm gonna stop now because this is getting long and I don't want to bore you anymore. Read and Review if you want too!


	5. Arms Wide Open

Arms Wide Open

The rain fell hard on my leather jacket as I raced from the driveway to the front door. I fumbled for my keys through the blur of the thunderstorm and once I was able to get through the door, I was immediately taken by the various smells of spices and other scents. I start to peel off my wet sleeve when our Border Collie mix trots up and barks to welcome me home.

"Hey Rou," I greet bending down to pet him. He licks the side of my face and I chuckle at the affection. I kneel playing with the dog for a few seconds more then raise back upright and make my way into the house further. I hear the clanking of pots and pans and wander towards the noise.

I stand in the archway of the kitchen and see the top of Ellie's red head as she's placing something in the oven. "Something smells good," I state.

"Shit," Ellie jumps up startled. "Give me a heart attack why don't you," she tells me tensely, almost irritated.

"Sorry," I apologize apprehensively.

"I'm sorry," Ellie replies with a shake of her head. "Hi," she addresses meeting me with a peck on the lips. "How was your day?"

Ellie goes back to the stove to resume what she was doing while I answer her question. "Pretty good, I laid down some new tracks and worked on some new songs. I should release my first single off the new album in a few days."

"That's amazing Craig," she turns to look at me happily "Which track?"

"'Rescue You'," I answer smirking. Ellie returns the smile along with a small blush. "Yeah, the paper work still needs to go through first but that shouldn't be a problem. I'm just happy to be putting something out there again," I continue taking a seat on the island bar stool in the kitchen. "What are you cooking, it smells delicious."

"Everything in the fridge," she laughs quietly, furrowing her brows in some sort of thought.

"Elle is everything alright," I ask concerned, clearly taking note of her behavior.

"Um, I'll be right back do you mind taking this off the stove in about two minutes," she answers quickly, exiting the kitchen and making her way down the hall completely avoiding my question altogether.

"What the hell," I mutter under my breath as I watch her leave the room. I glance down as Rou comes up to me again looking just as confused. "I have no idea what's going on Bud, but I'm nervous," I tell him. I get up to remove the pot from the stove and see the counter covered in several dishes and side plates. Knowing something's not right, I anxiously walk out of the kitchen searching for Ellie.

I head to our bedroom first and without hesitation enter the room to find it empty. I hear a faint noise coming from the adjoining bathroom and knock on the door lightly. "Ellie," I call.

"I'll be out in a minute," she murmurs.

I stand by the door waiting for her to come out with a million situations racing in my mind. Something is definitely not right and it's getting a little scary. Is it Joey or Angie? No they would have called me first, unless they called the house and I wasn't home to take the call. No, that can't be it otherwise Ellie would have told me right away, same thing with Marco, Paige, or Jimmy. It has to be her family; nothing else just seems to make sense-

"Craig," Ellie says interrupting my thoughts. She's standing in the door frame uncomfortably meeting my gaze before looking down, pushing her hair back behind her ears.

"Ellie, what's going on? You created an entire feast in our kitchen, which clearly means you're stressed about something. I can tell something's wrong, so please just tell me. Whatever it is, I can take it," I plead hoping she doesn't brush me off again.

She takes a breath before turning her back on me and walking over to the dresser. The mirror on top reflects her expression and I can slightly see a small grin appear on her lips though her green eyes are still down casted. A roar of thunder cascades through the house and the atmosphere only rattles my nerves even further.

"I...uh...left work early today, I wasn't feeling quite right," Ellie starts receiving my full attention. "I just felt like something was off, that something felt different."

She looks up and meets my eyes in the mirror and I can tell by her stare she's thinking about my reaction to whatever it is she hasn't told me. I nod my head, urging her to continue. Chewing her bottom lip, Ellie spins back around to face me directly. I step forward and hold her hands in mine reassuring her that I'm not going anywhere.

"You might want to sit down," she insists leading me to the edge of our bed. I follow silently and take a seat next to her, our knees brushing against one another. We're quiet for a minute as Ellie bites her lip, trying to figure out her next words. I watch restlessly as I listen to the sound of heavy rain hit the window pane. She opens her mouth to speak but closes it almost instantly.

"Ellie...," I trail off becoming edgy.

"Ugh, why is this so difficult," she whispers under her breath.

"What's so difficult," I ask worriedly standing up. "I'm freaking out here Elle! Did something happen? Is it Joey or Angie?"

"No," she answers reassuringly.

"Marco, Jimmy, Paige, any of our friends?"

"No."

"Your mom or dad," I try again.

"No," she answers her tone remaining the same with each reply.

"Is it Rou? I mean he seems fine to me," I ask still uncertain if I should be concerned or not. Ellie just shakes her head in response. "Then what it is? Are you trying to tell me you're pregnant or something," I joke sarcastically.

She remains muted, and instead of responding glances down before slowly looking back up and meeting my hazel eyes, an uneasy smirk forming on her features. I stand there looking at her amusingly before taking in her silence. Her eyebrow quirks up waiting for my reply and when it finally dawns on me, my eyes go wide as I stare at her in disbelief.

"I told you, you might want to sit down," Ellie teases playfully.

"Wha...what," I stutter.

"I'm pregnant," she laughs smiling.

_Well I just heard the news today  
>It seems my life is going to change<em>

I break our eye contact while the news settles in further. Not even fully aware of my actions I find myself sitting back on the edge of the bed. I can feel Ellie next to me, her gaze frozen on my face searching for any type of response. I try to turn my head to look at her but I can't take my eyes off the picture placed on top of our dresser. It's an image of Ellie and me on our wedding day. The sun illuminates our figures on the sandy beach of L.A., as we both have our foreheads pressed against each other; eyes closed and smiling contently, our only focus on the presence of one another and the significance of the moment. The memory is as clear to me as the day the photo was taken, and the longer I stare at it the more my lips twitch upward into a smile.

"Craig..."

I turn my attention to Ellie as she watches in expectation. Her expression is tentative but her green eyes are shining in what I can only assume is enthusiasm. It all starts to come together then. Her hesitant behavior wasn't because she was afraid to tell me, she was fearful about my reaction. In that instant I can't help but pull Ellie into me for a heartfelt kiss, to divest any doubt she could possibly feel. I can tell by the way she gives into me that she's relieved.

We pull away slowly our breaths in sync with one another. My hand is placed gently behind her head as I move my thumb idly up and down in a soothing pattern, my fingers intertwining with her scarlet hair. Ellie's eyes are still closed when I open mine, her head is somewhat down with her lips are pressed tightly together. I move my hand to caress her cheek as she leans into my touch, a blissful grin etched across her face.

"Ellie," I speak softly. She turns her head to look at me, eyes open and gleaming with a happiness I feel is indescribable.

"I didn't know how you would feel about it, hell I didn't know how I felt about it," she states answering my question before I even have to ask it. "We never really talked about it and it's unexpected..."

"Elle, since the day we got married, I couldn't wait to start a family with you," I confide to her.

"Really," she sighs pleased.

"Really," I repeat smiling, cupping her face and pressing an eager kiss to her lips. When I pull away she wraps her arms around my neck encasing us in our comfortable silence. We know each other so well, that neither of us has to speak to know what the other is thinking. Yes, we're both thrilled, there's no question about that, but there's something else.

Ellie presses against me while I hold her closely in my arms, both of us having the same thought run through our minds. Knowing our bittersweet luck,I clutch Ellie to me tighter. _Please let everything be alright._ I feel the tears brim my eyes as I realize that between me and Ellie is the start to a brand new beginning.

_I close my eyes begin to pray  
>Then tears of joy stream down my face<em>

It's only a week later that we're sitting in a waiting room patiently waiting for Ellie's name to be called. I can't help but stare at the walls and observe my surroundings. Pregnant women and pictures of babies and some other unsightly images flood the entire space. I grimace uncomfortably at the pictures and turn my attention to Ellie. She's staring upward lost in thought, absentmindedly rubbing her thighs. I reach over and grab her hand breaking her out of her reverie.

"Something on your mind," I ask gently. She relaxes and smiles, placing her hand on top of mine.

"Just nervous," she answers shrugging. With my free hand I draw her head to me and press my lips to her temple. She rests her head against my shoulder while our hands lie fixed together. "The grotesque pictures aren't helping much either," she announces causing us to both laugh. Our laughter is soon cut short though as a woman in scrubs walks in.

"Eleanor Manning," the technician calls.

We take one final look at each other as Ellie silently gets up to make her way towards the woman and I take our belongings and follow in her footsteps.

"We'll be running several tests before you meet with the doctor Mrs. Manning, it's all standard procedure but Mr. Manning, you can wait in the waiting room if you would prefer," the woman says as we walk down the small corridor.

I turn to Ellie and can see in her eyes the silent plea for me to stay. It's not even a matter of consideration before I tell the tech that I'd like to keep on. Ellie smiles softly as we enter one of the many patient rooms.

Everything seems to be a blur once the nurse takes a sample of Ellie's blood. Quite a few technicians were coming in and out as Ellie sat and was poked and prodded. The whole thing was overwhelming just to watch and I couldn't imagine how Elle was feeling. Through the entire examination I held her hand not knowing what else I could possibly do. After what seemed like an hour we were finally brought into the OBGYN's office.

"You ok," I ask Ellie once were alone and properly seated in front of the doctor's desk.

"Yeah...," Ellie answers slowly meeting my eyes. "Thanks for staying; it was easier having you there."

I nod in response and reach my arm over her chair to soothe her back while we both quietly observe the room. I can't speak for Ellie, but being here and seeing what I just witnessed has made this all the more real, and it is terrifying. I can't help but to revert back to a similar point in time when I was put in this position; only this time I'm not 15 and I have a faint idea of what I'm getting myself into. There was no way in hell I would have been able to handle any of this back then; with everything that fueled me being driven by insecurity and fear. Being a father requires certain attributes that I knew my teenage self didn't have. I'm not even sure if I have them now.

_Well I don't know if I'm ready  
>To be the man I have to be<em>

"Sorry to keep you waiting," a petite brunette states walking in the office and taking a seat at what I'm assuming is her desk. "Hello, I'm Dr. Gellar and I'll be your obstetrician. How are you both doing today?"

"I'm fine, but then again I'm not the one with the uterus so...," I joke trying to put all of my recent thoughts aside. Dr. Gellar laughs and I can hear Ellie chuckle next to me, no doubt an eye roll accompanying it.

"I'm doing as can be expected," Ellie responds after the small amusement dies down, her tone light.

"Yeah the first visit can be a little overwhelming," she declares pulling out a file with our name on it and looking over its contents. "I see this is your first child, correct," she asks after a moments pause. We both nod in unison as Dr. Gellar pulls something up on her computer. "Ok, so first I would like to see how far along you are and give you your estimated due date. When was the start of your last menstruation? You can also give me the date of conception if you know it."

"I believe it was the 7th, maybe about a month an half ago. I haven't been keeping track," Ellie explains.

"That's perfectly fine, let me just put it in the system...," she trails off, the tapping of keys being the only sound in the room. "I would like to clarify that this isn't a precise measurement and can change within the course of the pregnancy, but from what I collected it seems like you're seven weeks along, and your due date is the 27th of March."

Upon hearing those words I catch Ellie's eye. It may only be an approximation but it's enough to solidify our awareness to what's to follow, and with that I can't help but give off an enthralled smirk; one that Ellie welcomes with equal sentiment.

"I'd say that's reasonable time to get everything ready," I muse playfully looking back and forth between both women.

"Your husband here is quite the jokester," Dr. Gellar answers, seemingly amused with my antics.

"Among other things," Ellie counters giving me a sarcastically sweet smile. Teasingly, I offer her an appreciative grin, which she returns with her trademark eye roll.

"Alright, now I would like to go over your families medical history," Dr. Gellar states after a momentary break. "This is so we can prepare for any concern that may arise within the course of the pregnancy, as well as taking the necessary precautions."

Instinctively Ellie and I look at one another, the fear present in both our features. Since the night I learned about the pregnancy this has been a topic I've wanted to avoid, and I can safely assume Ellie feels the same. Our family's history isn't one we want to pass on to our child, and dwell on for that matter. The last thing I want is to become my dad. I think that's the scariest part of it all.

"Let's just take it slow," Dr. Gellar eases sensing our discomfort. "Are your parents still alive?"

Trying to cover up her sudden anxiety Ellie casually answers. "Yes, mine are. My mother is 48 and my father is 50."

"And what about you Mr. Manning," she asks writing something down in our file.

"...No...," I reply my throat going dry. "My father died when I was 14 in a car accident...and my mother died when I was 11. She uh...she died of a brain aneurysm."

Dr. Gellar stops briefly before continuing to take notes while simultaneously asking questions. "Did your mother suffer from hypertension?"

"Not that I can recall. She always seemed to lead a pretty healthy lifestyle," I answer passively.

"What about your father? Did he suffer from any medical illnesses," she maintains.

"Not that he ever told me, but it's possible that he was Bipolar," I respond.

"And why is that," Dr. Gellar presses. As if on cue, Ellie's hand finds mine. She strokes my thumb to coax the words out, knowing how difficult my next response will be. It might not be acknowledge much but I'm fully aware of what my condition brings to the table. The doctors had no trouble explaining it to me when I was diagnosed.

"Because I am, I was diagnosed when I was 16," I finally let out. I rub the back of neck and turn my attention away. The last thing I want is to see the doctor's accusing eyes. "I was prescribed to take Eskalith and have been on it ever since, minus the brief stint I had with drugs about 6 years ago."

"So there's a history of drug abuse," she questions.

"Yes, my mother is a recovering alcoholic and my dad was diagnosed with PTSD," Ellie interjects. She clasps my hand tighter and glances quickly in my direction to provide a gentle smile.

"Alright, is that all," Dr. Gellar inquires.

"Yes," Ellie states hastily, carrying the weight for both of us.

"I'm not trying to be discouraging but Bipolar Disorder and Brain Aneurysms can be genetically passed down to the offspring. The history of drug and alcohol abuse could be cause for concern as well."

Not the words I really wanted to hear at the moment. Just listening to her utter those statements make me feel like I've already failed somehow. I place my hand over the one Ellie has clutched on top of mine. Our eyes fix on one another and without difficulty it's clear to see we both feel the same.

"That's not to say that it will happen, just something to take notice of," Dr. Gellar informs us. "From everything that I can see, you're in good condition."

"Thank you Doctor," Ellie replies gently.

"That's all I need from you today. I'll see you in about 4 weeks for your first ultrasound appointment. We'll have your test results and can further discuss them by then. If any problems occur we'll call you. You can schedule your appointment at the front desk," She concludes rising from her seat to shake both our hands. "Thank you and congratulations."

I smile reluctantly and watch as Dr. Gellar exits her office, leaving Ellie and I alone. "Yeah thanks," I sigh collecting my belongings.

"Hey...," Ellie returns trying to reign in my discontent.

"C'mon Elle, you can't tell me that you're feeling giddy about what she said," I retort not even bothering to look at her.

"I'm not, and I'm just as bothered as you are but...we can't think like that...it was a subject that we had to face sometime," she answers calmly.

Ellie's words hang in the air, the bitter truth seeping its way in. I look up at her then, her expression composed. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath, shaking away the restlessness. I reach out and pull Ellie in towards me, thankful that it's her I'm taking this on with. She wraps her arms around my waist and presses close to my side. I kiss the top of her head when I feel her tense up next to me.

Confused I pull away slightly and look down at her. "Elle..."

"I think I felt it move," Ellie replies stunned, moving one her hands to her abdomen. "Like a small fluttering..."

She looks up at me then, an awestruck smile taking over her features. Still shocked she lets out a laugh and replaces my hand with her own from where it rested. It's the first time I've touched her stomach. Ever since Ellie told me, I've always been scared that if I make some sort contact, it'll all vanish. Ellie chuckles again though and whatever she's feeling radiates through me, ceasing whatever fears I have for now.

_I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side  
>We stand in awe, we've created life<em>

"You know you shouldn't leave the door unlocked," Marco shouts coming into our home.

"Yeah, well most people have the common decency to knock first," I call back from my place in the kitchen.

"Too bad I'm not most people," he states walking into the kitchen where Ellie and I are finishing up preparing for dinner.

"Just my obnoxious best friend," Ellie chimes in stirring something on top of the stove, stopping to hug Marco as he approaches her. "Where's Brandon," Ellie questions when she notices that Marco's significant other is not in tow.

Taking a seat by the island, he responds, "Got called in to the hospital at the last minute. The price you pay when you date an intern."

Ellie and I decided to tell everyone the big news altogether over dinner tonight. We figured it would be better than meeting everyone at different times and getting random phone calls throughout the day when someone heard it from someone other than us. It'll be satisfying to share the news with our friends and family. Hopefully it'll ease whatever doubts we might have as becoming parents.

"So who else is coming to this impromptu get-together," Marco asks munching on a carrot stick left out for appetizers.

"Joey, Angie, Ellie's parents, Paige and Spinner, and Jimmy and Trina," I answer offhandedly.

"Actually Jimmy called today and said he couldn't make it. I told him we'll meet them for dinner tomorrow night," Ellie states while I nod in agreement.

"Inviting the parents? Should I brace myself for something," Marco inquires curiously.

"It's nothing your perfectly product head couldn't handle, so don't be a pest and make yourself useful. You know the ins and outs of this kitchen just as much as we do," Ellie responds lightly.

Marco and Ellie continue talking while I join in to provide little comments here and there. It doesn't take long for everyone else to arrive. Ellie parents show up first with Joey and Angie trailing shortly behind. The last to arrive are Paige and Spinner claiming its best to arrive fashionably late. They join the others who have settled in the living room making conversation with one another.

I'm talking with Joey when Ellie walks in from the dining room letting everyone know that dinner is ready. Marco who was helping her in the kitchen while I played host to everyone stands right beside her. As everyone stands to make their way into the kitchen Marco stops them with a wave of his hands.

"Hold it everyone. Ok, I've held my tongue long enough. Now that everyone is here can you please tell us why were actually here," the young gentleman interrupts impatiently.

"Yeah why did you invite us all over," Spinner inserts oddly.

"We might as well tell them, Marco is worse than Rue when it comes to begging," Ellie states meeting my expression but not before giving a pointed look at Marco.

"No time like the present I guess," I answer pulling Ellie into my side. "Before you all start freaking out I promise-"

I'm cut off when Marco makes an audible gasp. He's staring at Ellie with an excited smile while Ellie just looks on confused. His eyes dart from Ellie's face to her lower half and I follow the gaze he has trained on Ellie to see her hand gingerly placed on her stomach.

"OH. MY. GOD. You're Pregnant," Marco exclaims making the connection. The whole room goes silent as they try to process Marco's words.

"Marco," Ellie scolds. He ignores her as he giddily jumps in enthusiasm wrapping her up in a bear hug.

"Really you couldn't let us have this one," I quip as he embraces me.

"What's going on," Paige cuts in. "Hun is this true?"

"Yeah, it is," Ellie replies with a smile nestling into me.

"Were having a baby," I clarify happily for everyone, holding Ellie against me. The room erupts into cheers then, as everybody rushes over to celebrate. I feel several hands pat my back as Paige and Ellie's mother surround her.

"My big brother is having a baby," Angie squeaks energetically as she comes over to give me a hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

"That means you'll babysit for free right," I tease.

"Watch your self big bro," Angie playfully warns pulling away. She smiles before turning to Ellie offering her a congratulatory hug.

"Ok, ok, now that the cat is out of the bag, can we please go sit down and eat," I call out to the room.

Eventually each person makes their way to the dining table, each one sharing their excitement over the latest news.

"I'm still in shock, I mean Craig and Ellie as parents," Paige states.

"I know I'm still getting over the fact that their married," Spinner adds jokingly.

"C'mon you saw them in high school. This can't be a total surprise," Marco counters.

"Oh yeah, Ellie's massive crush on Craig was a dead giveaway," Paige responds.

"Hey," Ellie yells a little embarrassed.

"Don't worry Ellie, Craig was just as smitten," Angie says coming to her defense. "He talked about you constantly and always had this puppy love look on his face when you two were on the phone."

"Way to throw me under the bus Ang," I laugh, a little embarrassed myself.

"She's not lying," Joey retorts.

I roll my eyes as everyone joins and laughs at my expense, not taking for granted the pleasantness of this evening. "Joke all you want, it all worked out for me in the end. I have Ellie, a great family, and a new album about to be released soon," I state boldly.

"Hey man, what are you gonna do now that you have a kid on the way," Spinner asks once the amusement has died down.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean with your new album dropping soon, won't you have to go on tour," he explains.

Everyone has their attention on me and honestly I'm at a loss for words. I haven't even thought about going on tour or my job in general. My main focus has been on Ellie and the baby and my own fears about becoming a parent. I haven't even begun to process what it will entitle when my album does come out and I have to leave; Just another item to add to the list of my failures as a father.

"I haven't worked it out yet, but I'm sure it'll be fine," I answer trying to seem indifferent. I must have pulled it off because the conversation moves forward and I am no longer the topic of discussion. I hear Ellie's mother ask her how she's feeling when I quietly excuse myself from the table. I can feel their eyes on me as I make my way into the kitchen.

I exhale nosily as I grip the countertop shutting my eyes in frustration. I grit my teeth as I hear someone enter the kitchen my back turned from them.

"Elle, I'm sorry I just need a minute ok," I sigh rubbing my eyes.

"It's good that I'm not Ellie then," I hear Joey reply behind me.

I turn around immediately and face my step-father in front of me. He's eyeing me carefully and I scratch at my cheek in discomfort. "Where's Ellie," I ask casually.

"Still talking to her mother, I figured I check in instead."

"Well the same rules apply, so if you could just leave me be that'd be great," I say seriously dismissing him.

"You and I both know that won't happen, so tell me what's going on," Joey asks sympathetically.

_If I had just one wish  
>Only one demand<em>

"How did you do it Joey," I put desperately. "Fuck! You heard me back there when Spin brought up my leaving for tour. I have no idea what I'm going to do!"

"Is that what this is about? Craig, you and Ellie have managed just fine before. You'll make it work this time around."

"It's not just that...it's me. It's me Joey. I don't want him to grow up like I did. I don't want to become my father," I choke out hoping that somehow he'll have the answers.

_I hope he's not like me  
>I hope he understands<em>

I look at Joey as his face goes from sensitive to stern. He walks up to me and grabs my shoulder tightly. Lifting his finger to my face he tells me intently, "Craig you will never be your father. Do you hear me, _never_."

"Joey, he could end up like me. He could be Bipolar, and I know what it did to you. It ruined your relationship with Caitlin. Hell I know it what it did to me and now the fact that I'll leave every now and then for tour and never be around is just as bad. The baby's not even born yet and already I'm a failure as a father."

"You didn't ruin my relationship with Caitlin. Caitlin and I wanted different things and I we both knew my focus had to be on you, and not because of your condition but because of what the condition was doing to you," Joey clarifies. "And so what if your child's Bipolar. You of all people know it's manageable, and you as his father can help him through this. You're also missing the key difference in all this. You have Ellie."

"Yeah," I chuckle realizing how well she's kept everything together while I was secretly falling apart.

"Have you talked to her about this," he asks releasing his hold on me.

"Not really. With everything she's going through I didn't want to bother her with this. The last thing she should be doing is picking together my pieces."

"I think she would want to talk about this with you, and after that walk out I don't think you have a choice anymore," he laughs.

"Joey, do you really think I could do this?"

"Ask yourself this; how much do you love this child? And what will you do to make this the best possible life for them?"

I let Joey's words sink in and realize there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him, my child that is. I would go through the ends of the world to make sure that he doesn't live a life like I did. He won't know the pain of having a father like I did, and while I can't control the outcome of my genetics I'll still do whatever I can. He'll know how much his father loves him. Plus with me and Ellie as his parents, there's nothing that he couldn't do.

_That he can take this life  
>And hold it by the hand<br>And he can greet the world  
>With arms wide open<em>

"See you're already a great dad," Joey comments after seeing me soften with a smile.

"The kid's even got a head start with me and Ellie's good looks," I joke. Joey laughs and humorously slaps my arm.

"So your good, no more doubts?"

"I still have my fears that I'm gonna screw it up somehow, but I'm ready. Thanks Joey, or should I say grandpa," I tease the older gentlemen.

"Oh god," Joey groans leading me back into the dining room to join everyone else.

I take my seat as everyone is taking a break about baby talk and instead interested in what everyone else is doing with their lives. I catch Ellie's eye as she mouths, 'are you ok' over the table. I nod smiling, and for the first time since hearing the news about upcoming parenthood, it's sincere.

_With arms wide open_  
><em>Under the sunlight<br>Welcome to this place  
>I'll show you everything<br>With arms wide open  
>Now everything has changed<br>I'll show you love  
>I'll show you everything<br>With arms wide open  
>With arms wide open<em>

* * *

><p>AN: OK! So I know this has taken awhile and I'm sorry but it was a bad year for me and I didn't really have the heart to really do anything but with the help of my new found relationship (crazy right) and the end of a shitty school year I give you the final product! I would also like to thank Making it Shine for kind of encouraging me to finish it and of course my Crellie Soul Mate Tiff or as you may know her emptyvessels. I loved, loved, loved 'the sheer force of the sky' thank you so much for the dedication and the dedicated support and just being an overall amazingly beautiful and wonderful person. I love you! So please if you're reading this and you are not either of those two people, why are you reading this piece of crap and go read their stories! Do It now! They are both fantastic writers I promise you won't be disappointed.

As for this story, I have always had a fascination with the idea of Craig and Ellie becoming parents given their history. I have always wanted to see the aspect of it all play out and seeing as no one I know has really done it in length, I thought I'd give it a go. Plus whenever I hear this song I automatically think of Craig dealing with the trials of pending daddyhood. If you liked this horrible rendition I was thinking about doing a second part in Ellie's POV and maybe a third part of them actually meeting the baby. It's up to the people that read this or not. I have other ideas so just let me know, please! I would greatly appreciate feedback.

Also I don't know shit about being pregnant. I googled most of that and got most of my information from like web MD. If any of you have a problem shoot me a PM and we can discuss it but again I don't know shit.

Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics of 'With Arms Wide Open' by Creed or anything written above except maybe my thoughts. Everything belongs to its respective owners.


	6. Run

Run

2:32AM.

Those are the numbers that flash in front my eyes as lay awake all night. Frustrated, I let out a deep breath and turn over to rest on my back. I close my eyes and will myself to fall asleep, but the thoughts that have been keeping me up come flooding back. I cover my face with my hands and groan slightly, annoyed that my mind would choose tonight to plague me.

Finally deciding that sleep is futile, I pull myself up, ignoring the minor nausea, and arrange the pillows to cushion my back. Once I'm comfortably settled I turn my head to look at a snoozing Craig and try to decide whether or not I should wake him up and talk to him. I know he'd want me to, but just looking at him lying on his stomach with his hands on either side of the pillow, peacefully asleep has me choosing not to. He has to be up in about two hours so it's better to let him sleep, not to mention how tough it's been for him for the past few weeks.

Since learning about the pregnancy, Craig's main focus has been me and the baby and dealing with his own fears about upcoming parenthood. After his talk with Joey he told me how he was scared about the baby's future health and how he couldn't live with himself if he turned into his own mentally ill father. While Joey helped, he still told me he didn't know how he would feel if something were to go wrong and had only himself to blame. It only got worse when he fought with his manager over the details with the new album and the tour to follow. The stress was getting to him and after about a week of going back and forth he finally agreed to a compromise. His label allowed him to take a year off if he did a three month Canadian wide tour, which starts today.

I couldn't tell Craig about what's going on with my own crazy thoughts without stressing and worrying him further. With that in mind, I quietly get myself out of bed and make my way into the kitchen hoping a snack and some light reading will do the trick and put me fast asleep. I grab my copy of '_What to Expect When You're Expecting_' and tip toe out of the bedroom, making sure I don't wake up Rou who's also comfortably asleep at the end of the bed. The last thing I need is to have him up because on top of stressing about work and failing as father, Craig has been watching every move I make to make sure I'm ok. Rou has been his right hand man in this and alerts him to every time I make a step. I can honestly say I won't miss that for the next three months.

Switching on the light to the kitchen, I idly make my way to the fridge. I rub my stomach where in a few weeks there will be a prominent bump. "Ok, so what are you in the mood for," I ask my not so swollen belly as I open the fridge door. Searching through the array of foods I grab a bottle of water and some guacamole before shutting the door and grabbing some tortilla chips from the pantry.

I settle myself down on the couch in the living room and begin to snack on my chips and dip. I open up the page I left off on and begin reading, my mind focused on the words on the page. I dip another chip into the guacamole when I feel bile rush to the back of my throat. Dropping the book and chip, I race to the nearest bathroom. I get to the toilet just in time to vomit all the contents I had in my stomach.

Once I'm sure everything but my intestines have been spewed from my body I rest on the tile floor, the coldness a welcome feeling to my clammy body. I lay there for a few minutes trying to calm myself before picking myself back up. I feel another wave of queasiness and retch one more time into the toilet, cursing morning sickness in the process.

I wash my mouth out before heading back to the living room to put away the chips and guacamole. I place the dip back into the fridge with a grimace and a shiver of disgust. I close the fridge and once it's shut my eyes land on the 12 week sonogram on the front of it, pinned by a guitar shaped magnet. I trace the outline of the black and white image smiling softly.

_Remember make believe in you  
>All the things I said I'd do<em>

I can feel my smile falter when my recent misgivings surface once again in my head. Instinctively I rest my hand on my abdomen and walk back toward the living room. I settle on the couch again and curl myself into the corner of the cushion, my insecurities getting the better of me. Just this afternoon that sonogram was taken when Craig and I went to the appointment today. We had two printed out, one to keep at home and one for Craig while he was on the road. It was also the first time we heard the baby's heartbeat.

It was such a strange and incredible experience. To hear that sound and know that there is an actual person growing inside of you. I had to admit I got choked up. Craig was just mesmerized holding tightly to my hand. I don't think he even understood there was someone in there until that moment.

Biting my lip I lift up the sleeves to my shirt and look down at the faded scars etched straight up my arm. They may not be visible from far away but their evident when you're up close. My child will see these one day and ask me why I have them. How can I explain it to them? How can I possibly describe how much pain I was in that I resorted to hurting myself to make me feel better? With everyone I don't need to explain, it's just what it is and I could care less about what people think of me. But I can't hide this from him and I've never been embarrassed about my cutting but it's never really been spoken of.

_I wouldn't hurt you, like the world did me  
>Keep you safe, I'd keep you sweet<em>

I can feel my eyes begin to water so I do what I normally do when Craig isn't around and I feel like venting, I call Marco. I grab my cell from the bedroom, make sure Craig is still asleep, and sneakily head back to the living room. I quickly hit his speed dial and after some time he eventually answers.

"Hello," he asks groggily.

"Marco," I answer, my voice quiet.

"Ellie? Ellie what's up, everything ok," He ask tiredly but fully concerned.

"Yeah, I just thought I'd call you at three in the morning to let you know everything is peachy keen," I reply with an eye roll.

"Listen Ms. Sarcastic, I just woke up and my brain isn't fully operational yet. What's going on?"

"Morning sickness and haphazard thoughts," I answer casually.

"What about?"

"Marco, how do I tell him about my cutting," I respond timidly.

"I'm pretty sure Craig knows already," Marco teases.

"I'm talking about the baby."

"What may I ask brought this up," He asks curiously.

"We heard the heartbeat for the first time, and it just really brought my attention to the fact that there is a real person in there."

"You heard the heartbeat!? Oh my god that's so exciting," Marco exclaims, seeming fully awake.

"Marco focus! I'm really upset about this," I state reeling him back in.

"Sorry, just that's pretty awesome but c'mon Elle it's not like you to be worried about something like this."

"I've never been a mom-to-be either!"

"That's true." There's a pause before he speaks up again. "Does Craig know about this?"

"No, he's been too stressed lately and the last thing he needs right before he leaves is me crying about how I failed as a mom," I admit.

"First off, you haven't failed as a mom. Your child isn't going to hate you for something that you did when you were fifteen. Secondly, Craig would want to know about this. It might actually help him if you tell him you're just as scared as he is."

"I'm embarrassed too," I confess.

"You weren't before, and popping a kid out shouldn't change that," Marco exclaims firmly. I manage a smile knowing he's right and somehow feeling comforted by his words. "Bottom line is Elle, you never had and still have nothing to be ashamed off."

_Everything that I went through,  
>I'm grateful you won't have to do <em>

"Thank you father Marco," I tell him sweetly.

"Anything for you Elle, now if you don't mind my substitute daddy duties don't start until Craig takes off, and I'd like to sleep while I still can. We can talk more about this when I come over later today, ok?"

I smile and nod even though Marco can't see me, knowing that while Craig is away Marco will be taking Craig's place for doctors' appointments and other baby related things. "Thanks again Marco," I tell him once more before saying goodbye and hanging up.

I place my cell phone down and rub my hand along my abdomen. If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that Craig and I will never let him grow up like we did. We will make damn sure to learn from our parents mistakes and let him have the greatest life possible.

_I know that you will have to fall  
>I can't hide you from it all<em>

Still I can't shake the thoughts of my child looking at me with disgust because of the scars, or worse, resorting to it like I did. I mean what if he asks when he's five years old. No five year old child should be subjected to knowing that kind of reality, not at that age. I know the damage life can do to you and I hate that I can't protect him from that. I bury my head in my hands, not wanting to feel like this. I need to keep it together for Craig's sake and god only knows what my hormones have in store for me over these next few months.

It's at that moment that I feel a nudge at my knee. Looking up I see Rou, sitting down watching me.

Uh-Oh.

He nudges me once more before licking the side of my face. I smile and scratch the back of his head. He stays for a few minutes, enjoying the attention before walking away in the direction of the bedroom.

"Rou, don't you dare wake up Craig," I quietly shout, trying to call back our Border Collie mix. It's too late though because soon after he disappears, I hear the shuffle of Craig's feet.

"Ellie," Craig sleepily asks walking into the living room, squinting in the light. His dark curls are tousled and the hem of his bottoms are uneven, exposing more of his naked torso, rubbing his left eye with the palm of his hand. He turns around slightly and that's when I notice Rou behind the corner of the hallway. "Thanks Rou," Craig states seemingly more awake.

"Yeah, thanks Rou," I repeat sarcastically watching him walk off and back into our bedroom.

"Ellie, what are you doing up?"

"I should ask you the same thing," I say standing up. "I'm not the one who needs to be up in two hours. Go back to bed."

"Not until you tell me why you're in the living room at three in the morning."

"I had a craving," I lie. "By the way, your child hates guacamole."

"Is that so," he laughs. "Hopefully he'll like ketchup chips."

I laugh and expect Craig to walk back to the bedroom but instead he stays put. "I'm fine, now hop back to bed," I feigningly reassure.

"Not until you tell me what's really going on," he carefully replies.

"I told you already."

"Elle we've been best friends for 10 years and for those last two years I've been your husband. Not to mention we've grouped together. I can tell when you're not being honest with me," he answers taking steps toward me. He steadies his hands on my shoulders and looks down into my eyes. "So tell me what's really going on."

I don't speak right away and instead keep my gaze staring upward into Craig's eyes. He quirks his eyebrow waiting for some kind of response. When my eyes start to hurt I turn myself away. Craig reaches out to bring me back but I've seated myself on the couch. I can feel the burning in my eyes from the tears I'm desperately trying to keep at bay.

"I'm scared," I finally concede. "I'm embarrassed about my cutting and I'm scared about the day when he sees them and questions me about it. After hearing the heartbeat today, it just made me realize that soon we'll actually be taking care of another human being! I don't want our child to see my scars and know that kind of reality. I couldn't bear to think that I somehow failed or disappointed them in anyway. I want to be better than my own mother and from the looks of it, I'm not doing a great job so far."

_See, here's the bloody, bloody truth  
>You will hurt and you will lose<em>

"I'm not gonna lie to you Ellie," Craig breathes deeply taking a seat next to me, "We've pretty much fucked this kid just by having me as the father."

"Stop it," I scold.

"I'm serious," he laughs. "They're going to have to deal with a lot just based on my family's history. I mean his fathers an ex drug addict with a mental condition. I'm pretty sure I've got you beat on the worse parent card, not to mention I'll be gone sometimes because of my job."

"Craig, you are not going to be a terrible father."

I feel Craig's finger under my chin as he brings my face to meet his. "And you're not going to be a terrible mother," he tells me firmly. "I promise you Ellie when he does learn about your scars he'll only think about how strong you are. He'll know that his mom is a fighter…and you'll be his hero."

_I've got scars you won't believe  
>Wear them proudly on my sleeve<em>

A single tear escapes from my eye and I manage a sad smile. "How can you be so sure, huh," I ask.

"Because you're mine."

I can feel my features soften at his words as another tear slides down my cheek. Craig removes his finger from under my chin to wipe it away before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I lean into his touch before wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into the crook of his shoulder. His arms wrap tightly around me as he presses me closer. I manage to pull away briefly before pressing my lips to his, reminding him how much I love him.

_I hope you'll have the sense to know  
>That sadness comes and sadness goes<em>

After sometime we sit silently on the couch, my head resting on his chest listening to sound of his heartbeat as he holds me gently to his side.

"I wish you would have told me about this sooner," Craig says solemnly breaking the silence.

"I know," I sigh. "It just came up this afternoon and I didn't want to worry you before you left."

"Elle, you know more than anyone, well besides Joey, how much I'm scared about scarring our child. I mean it's scary enough to bring a baby into this world…but with our track record it's even more frightening. I sure as hell don't want to be my father…"

"And I don't want to be a disappointing mother," I conclude.

"Then promise me you won't keep this to yourself. I know you feel the need to be strong for both of us but that's not gonna do any good. We need to tell each other these things because we both know we fear the same thing about parenthood."

I adjusted my position so I can look at his face. "I promise," I say firmly peering into his hazel eyes, and hoping that our child will have the same feature. "Though even given our circumstances, these are still normal fears for any non-dysfunctional parents-to-be," I laugh.

He rests his hand on my stomach, rubbing his thumb up and down the fabric of my shirt, "Well it's about time something normal happens in our relationship," he chuckles.

I snort, and nod in agreement. Nothing about me and Craig's relationship was normal considering how things played out since that fateful summer where things changed, not right away, but ultimately for the better. The alarm blaring in our bedroom takes our attention away from one another as it signals Craig's approaching departure.

"Well that's my cue," Craig states getting up off the couch. I reach out and grab his hand drawing his focus back to me. When he meets my gaze, I get up off the couch and reach up to kiss him slowly.

Pulling back just as slowly, I watch as his eyes gently open to meet my own. "I love you," I tell him delicately.

"I love you too," he smiles lingering just a moment before heading off to the bedroom.

_Love so hard and play life loud  
>It's the only thing to give a damn about<em>

I smile as I hear the water turning on as Craig readies to take a shower. I take back my seat on the couch as I relish in the fact that no matter what happens in the years to come, my child will know unconditional love. That no matter what I'll be there to catch him if he falls and they'll always have a place in my arms.

_But take the best of what I've got  
>And you know no matter what<br>Before you walk away, you know you can  
>Run, run, run,<br>Back to my arms, back to my arms  
>Run, run, run,<br>Back to my arms and they will hold you down_

* * *

><p>AN: Ok, long time no see? Well it's been a bad year (though that always seems to be my excuse), though I'm pretty sure it's a fairly recent update considering my standards.

This is sort of Ellie's POV to parenting following Craig's because I have a sick obsession with them as parents, cause let's face it they would be kick ass parents. I also just seriously like the idea of them as mom dad given their familial history. It seems as though I'm the only one so I might hold off on this little three shot thing I had going with this, and maybe the next chapter will be something else that I've been thinking about. But as always let me know what you think

I also took inspiration from MTV's Awkward. If you noticed the similarities then your hunch is confirmed. Sort of fluffy but I write fluff when I'm not feeling so fluffy. If I write angst it's probably because I was insanely happy, go figure.

Disclaimer: I own nothing referenced in this story or the characters in this story. All rights belong to their respective owners as I sit on my bed and own the laptop I am writing this on.

The song used was Run by Pink, again something I have no ownership in.


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